Sunday, August 14, 2005

Toothpick Hell

Okay, so whose bright idea was it for me and T1 to take a Beginner's Sock Knitting Class?! Hmmm? Hmmm? Cuz y'all forgot to mention that knitting socks would be HELL! Just sayin'.

I mean, first off ... you DO remember the yamika incident, right?! Yeah, well ... that project was NOTHING ... NOTHING I tell ya ... compared to trying to knit a sock. Really.

To knit socks, you first start off with 5 miniscule knitting needles. You knitters would know them at Size 2 DPNs*. You non-knitters (aka Lucky Bastards) just imagine toothpicks.

You then try knitting with yarn that is close to the width of thread. Uh yeah. Plus you've got 5 ... as in FIVE ... of these DPNs jostling up against each other as you try to knit from needle to needle ..... all while trying to make sure that none of the yarn slips off the back of the needle while you're fighting with the front of the needles.

Ah yes, the joy!

As if that's not bad enough, the first inch or so of the project needs to be the ribbing (ya know, so your sock stays UP on your leg). Yeah well, for those of us that haven't really purled before ... that whole knit two purl two thing while juggling tiny yarn between five toothpicks ... well ... it just doesn't get any better than that!!! ARGH!!!!!! Talk about neck tension, stress and sweaty palms!! (quite literally)

And as an added bonus, I discovered the "joy" of accidentally removing one of the working needles completely from the project when attempting to simply grab the newly emptied needle instead. Oh yeah .... ain't that special, I tell ya! Let the panic (and cussing) commence!

Oh, but the real pisser with the sock project is: If/when I finish this sock ... I'm still only half way done with the project! HALF WAY! I'd have another WHOLE sock to do! Man, my neck is tensing just thinking about it!!

Sigh. So here are some pics (poorly lit ... my bad) that show my project as of last night. Just look at that pretty pink Rowan Big Wool in the background just mocking me! "Look Kat, I am big yarn to be used on big needles and hence am stress-free, fun, relaxing and fast!!!". But no, no ... instead I get to do the Hateful Sock Knitting. BAH! Just look, only the ribbing on the sock is complete as well as the first few rows of the straight knit for the leg. Would any of you believe that this is already about 5 hours worth of work?! FIVE HOURS! (no, I will not be quitting my day job to become a professional knitter! ;)). The instructor says our homework before class next weekend is to knit the sock all the way down until we reach the heel. The suggestion is 6 to 7 inches. Yeah right. By next weekend?? Maybe if I forgo work AND sleep! Because at the rate I'm going now ... can you say "bobby socks**"!?!

* double-pointed needles.
** correction: make that "bobby sock". Just one. Because I'm bound and determined to befriend a one-legged person before this class is finished!


ms c said...

oh no you poor girl!!!!! socks are HARD (you should've asked me first about that class but you didn't so it's your own damn fault). i stay away from them - knitting them, that is. but at least now you know how to purl. and what you've got done so far looks really good. and once you knit socks, you can knit anything. and that rowan is beautiful, waiting patiently to be turned into...? big bulky socks?

T1 said...

hey! not all of us hate the sock knitting. granted at first i thought i might have to break my toothpicks and burn my yarn...but now i love my sock. love it! it is my new bff. if only because it is costing me a fortune and i spend more time with it than my sf. so what?

Kat said...

HEY! Alls I'm sayin' is that I have people in my life I love enough I'd lay my life down for. But, at this point, I just can't think of anyone I love enough to knit a pair of socks for.

And there just seems to be something wrong with that!