Friday, August 26, 2005

Calling all hookers!

Craigslist just had too many to choose from last night. Here are a few for your amusement:

Calling All Hookers!!!

Why? WHY?!! What is it with men trying to bribe women to be with them? Is it a chauvinistic idea that women are "property" to be bought and sold? Or maybe the man is too scared or has too low self-esteem to think he can get and maintain a real relationship? What? ... Inquiring minds want to know! Cuz I just don't get it!! And women ... what are ya thinkin'?? You would NEVER be treated as an equal partner. Never.

I'm posting the text to only a couple of these. The others were similiar and the titles are pretty dang self-explanatory!

RAVE: sex with wealthy older men (SWM-45 for F 18-29)
Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-25, 12:00PM PDT

On top of the great sex, wealthy older men are more intelligent, more worldly, more interesting and much more willing to be more generous and financially helpful and supportive to attractive younger women who look after their needs. ["look after their needs"?? Wait, wait ... let me guess!!]

I'm in my early 40's, look mid 30's and date 21-30 year olds exclusively.

I'm worth several million dollars, have all the toys, love to travel and pamper and spoil my partner, and show her a great time. [HEY! I'm WORTH millions too! I don't HAVE millions ... but I'm WORTH millions, damnit!]

Any attractive younger women here looking for a great guy to satisfy ALL their needs....sexual, emotional, and financial??

If so, write me here.

If you don't like the post, save the energy complaining directly...I could care less... [geee, and you come across as just so dang sweet too]

Wealthy well known man looking for mistress - 30
Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-25, 9:17AM PDT

I am a wealthy, well recognizable man who just moved to portland. I'm looking for a very attractive female. I will provide a very nice apartment, a car and an expense account. In return, I expect you to be at my beckon call. ["beckon call"?? But doesn't "to beckon"="to call". Man, I'm confused!] Only serious replies please. This is a life style that is not for everyone. If you want to pursue this send me only your most recent pictures. They must be candid and real. Any glimpse of a fake pic will be ignored. [Do you mean "any post including a pic you think might be fake will be ignored"?? Or really that "you will ignore your glimpse at a fake pic"??. Cuz if so, I just don't get it!] After I decide to pursue you further we will meet at a near by coffee house to discuss the details and see if we mutually want to continue. I look forward to your reply. [don't hold your breath]

Any Beautiful Big-Breasted Women Need A Rich BoyFriend with LOTS of benefits
& Incredibly Generous $upport????? ( F-21-37)

Any Big-Breasted Beauty Need A Rich Hot Man & Generous $upport?

Rich Handsome Landlord Seeks Beautiful Sexy Romantic Tenant(F23-39)
Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-25, 10:20AM PDT

Any Beautiful Sexy Ladies Need A Very Nice House Of Their Own??
(I have my own home. This would be yours.)
I'm a wealthy single landlord with lots of property.
One of my nicest homes in a great area is available for the right woman for a very reasonable rent.
You might even say it was substantially below market.
Is "Free" a reasonable price??
I thought so.
There are lots of other benefits for this type of "Long Term Romantic Relationship" for the right woman too, if we click.
Need Wheels??
Got several to pick from...Choose from the convertible or the elegant luxury car, to one of the SUV's or the nice truck if you're picking something up.
Need Spending Money??
Not an issue. $500 a week walking around money enough??
Need money to shop??
Like to keep your wardrobe nice??
Here, have a new credit card.
$1000 a month work for you?? [wait. Only $1000 a month on cc but $500 per week in cash. Gee, if you were REALLY generous you'd be offering up a bit more on the ole credit card there, buddy]
Need some new things for the house.
Not a problem.
Just show me what you'd like.
Utilities.....not to worry, they're all paid for.
Are you VERY attractive, single and available too??
I will even consider a very attractive single mom??
I'm a single dad too. [great. Nice to know more children will grow up with your f'd up image of women and relationships]
Does your child need a good private school and special classes to help them fluorish and other special things to help them have a wonderful life??
It's something we could talk about.
I'm looking for one special, very attractive woman who needs, wants and deserves the best that life has to offer.
That's of the best things that life could ever offer. [HAHAHAHAHA. Uh yeah.]
I have all of the above for you and much much more, if we click.

Send a recent clear pic in response to this ad for consideration, and some information on what you're all about.

I'm real.
You be real too.
One woman man, looking for one man woman.

Be intelligent, attractive, shapely, warm, sexy and willing to care for my simple needs [geee, what ever could he mean??] while I care for you and yours.
No games, and no players.
The usual non's please.
No BBW's, drunks, druggies, or STD's.
Oh yeah....and no smokers...sorry, can't stand it.

Other faves:

Gurls are purdy! - 26
Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-25, 8:58AM PDT

I'm successful (read: 6-fig salary), talented, intellegent, and a tad arrogant. [ah, ya know I can't pass up those ironic misspellings. LOVE THEM, Mr Intellegent!!! ]

I'm looking for: A girl (duh!). Age, height, weight, and looks are not nearly as important as your mind.


Your pic gets mine, but your response is more important.

how about YOU take ME out tonight! - 21 (Beaverton) [geee, can I??]

I'll Treat You Bad, And You'll Love It - 45 (NW) [Loser ... move along!]

GOD I'M GOOD LOOKING! (I could be in your life!) [Whoo hoo!!! Uh ... NO!]

are you drop dead gorgeous?

Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-25, 3:37PM PDT

lets face it, beautiful people don't have to work so hard. the world unfolds around them. you tell a half way decent joke and everyone falls out of their chairs laughing at you. or, they are suprised when you complete an intelligent sentence. i am not sure where this ad is going, but thats ok. i am beautiful so i don't have to make sense. [hello?]

now watch how easy being beautiful is. send me your picture. see, it works.

if you are really that beautiful, i will respond. and if you aren't drop dead gorgeous, i won't reply. then you can say that you learned something today. [gee, aren't you special]

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