Wednesday, August 03, 2005

What are men thinking??!

A couple of today's Craigslist "winners" (ack!):

Skinny bisexual female vegetarian wanted forever

Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-03, 9:01AM PDT

It is ok if you are in a relationship now, so long as you know s/he isn't the one. No religious affiliations or desires to procreate.

[does anyone else find this a very, very, very bizarro ad?? Anyone?! I mean, what exactly are you offering up here, buddy?]

My ridiculous requirements - 30 (Corvallis)

[this guy wasn't joking. I nodded off after like the first 100 pages of his requirement list. It made the novel 'War and Peace' look like a short story!]

In Pain - 31 (Lake Oswego(sorta))

[ever heard of something called "making a good first impression" when trying to meet people? Just wonderin'.]

she was ITALIAN, i am rebounding - 51 (GARDEN HOME)

[doesn't this sound right off the bat like another winner?! Let's read, shall we?!]

Reply to:
Date: 2005-08-03, 7:01AM PDT

help me get over her, she was the optimistic one, could sing like a bird, dark hair,thin legs. looking for two weeks of "the way it was" just a song before i go.

[Yep. Now why would a woman ever answer an ad like that?! Why?!!]

Nerd looking for you - 26

[ah, come onnnn, now ... how nerdy can you be?!! Let's check an excerpt.....]

"First off I'm Oriental. No, if you spin me around I don't get dis-oriented. Hahaha."

[Uh, okay. I suppose that answered the question right there, now didn't it?! Good luck, Mr Nerd Man]

And my favorite today. I've had to take only excerpts because he rivaled Mr War And Peace Man for long-windedness.

"Cute" Ass-Amazing Kisser-Great Guy; Ladies do U travel to NYC? - 34 (Manhattan)

[Okay, first off let's note that he is from Manhattan. Yet is posting in Portland, OREGON ... you know, over THREE THOUSAND miles away. Does anyone else smell "Married"???]

"I'm 34yrs, 5'10", brown hair and the sexiest blue eyes you have ever seen!" [my, my, my ... now isn't that a bold statement]

"Shivalry 'is not' over rated." [nor is spelling correctly, my friend]

"I love to sing, and 'yes' I'm good at it (No American idol..but I'm better than most)." [ah yes, I love a man that must get defensive about his singing abilities. Because how well you sing is Oh So Important to me]

"I'm a great cook, anything you name it, and...I make a great cup of coffee" [is anyone else getting the "cocky bastard" feeling here?!]

"I'm a 'very good kisser'" [yep, definitely "cocky bastard"]

"I have the best group of friends" [Damnit! Really?! And here I was thinkin' *I* had the best group of friends. Mine must be second best then. Sorry, guys, I'll need that "2005 Best Group Of Friends" plaque back now]

"My knowledge and interest are very vast" [and yet your personality is severely lacking]

"Because it's not all about my pleasure, 'its' about yours'." [hahahahahahaha! Yeah, I've met guys like you before, buddy ... with "cocky bastards" it is definitely all about YOU]

[and his comment on what he is looking for....]

"And yes...A Good a must."

"Takes pride in the way they look."

"Nice/Great set of legs (sorry for being blunt) but (we all have wishes)." [like wishing someone wasn't so "parenthesis happy"?!]

"Don't waist me time if you not.. [aye, matey, and we can get together over drinks and speak like Pirates!] ....I'm looking for an Attractive Women (White Female), who takes pride in the way they look"

[Did anyone think that a woman's inner beauty would be his main concern?!!! Yeah, me neither]

[You, dear blog readers, may also be interested to know he posted a (fully clothed .. thank goodness) picture of his bum. Sigh.]

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