Monday, November 24, 2008

Can you say "pissed off wardrobe person"??

So I'm flipping channels yesterday morning and come across the FX channel playing Spiderman 2. But in addition to just the movie, two hosts jabber a bit about the behind the scenes of the movie after each commercial break (you know, like how it works on "Dinner and a Movie" only this is called "DVD and a Movie").

But when the two hosts come out, they are dressed LIKE THIS!!!! (these pictures don't do the horror justice!)

WTF people! Even I (Miss Definitely No Fashionista!) knows both these outfits suck!

First off, horizontal stripes on this man .... seriously??!!! Everyone knows you just-say-no to horizontal stripes if you've got 5 or more pounds to lose. The dude looks like CRAP in that outfit! And frankly, that sweater is just wrong no matter the wearer's size!

And then the chica looks like she is dressed to go boating back in the early 1980s. Hello, the Love Boat called, and Julie McCoy would like her outfit back! I mean, really!

And worse yet .... not only do those two outfits suck individually, but I think seeing them together has permanently burned my retinas! Shit people ...... how did anyone think those outfits were okay?!!!! I mean, maybe if the movie they were showcasing was Saturday Night Fever or something ..... I could kinda get behind the bad fashion joke, you know?! .... but the recent Spiderman 2??!!!!! I just don't get it.

(*shakes head in dismay*)

GAHHH. Someone please go apologize to the wardrobe person for whatever you did to piss them off. And when you do, you might want to bring some flowers. And chocolate. Maybe some jewelry too. Hell, by the looks of it, you'd better throw in a multi-million dollar yacht!!! Because they are RAGING mad! So go! Quick like ninja! Because my poor retinas cannot risk viewing an equally horrible outfit fiasco next week!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I love snarky!

So I lovelovelove this website! Reminds me of a few posts I did myself way back when! (here and here)

And to offset the snark, here's a little Do-Good-For-The-World link. There is a postcard project from "Join the Impact" to make sure President-elect Obama knows folks would like equality for all .... gay or straight! So if you are so inclined, feel free to join in!

p.s. where the hell does all the time go?! I can NOT believe that it has been almost two months since my last post. How did that happen???

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The "B"s have it!

Here's some updates on some "b"s in my life!

B #1: a new Baby! (no, not mine!! ;)). Congrats to T and C on their new baby boy! He's GORGEOUS! Love the hair! And so happy that he's being such a good baby for you! When do C and I get to babysit??? :)

B #2: the updated Bathroom! C and I did some updating on my guest bathroom. Here's a pic of what I had to start with when I first purchased the condo:

Y'all can say "craptastic" and not hurt my feelings ... trust me! :)

After some painting (wall, door, and vanity), cabinet removal, repair (wall, floor tile, and vanity side), replacement of (faucet, light fixture, toilet lever, door knobs, cabinet hardware, toilet roll holder), the addition of (a towel holder, linen closet, and mirror framing), and some decorating (towels, shower curtain, knick knacks, artwork) .... we get this:

It isn't a high-end upgrade (I spent under $500) ... BUT ... I love it. I think it modernizes the bathroom and makes the house more sale-able! Woot! Plus ... the most important benefit ... Emma approves! :)

B #3: Beauty! A few weekends ago, C and I drove down to Silver Falls State Park to do a little hiking. Just look how gorgeous that area is!

A couple of waterfalls there.

From behind a third one.

A hairy tree! :)

Pretty leaves

Check this one out .... three trees which look like they are hugging! Too cute!

A pic of C and I reflected in a river:

B #4: B&Bs! Just recently we decided to spend a weekend in a bed and breakfast on the other side of Mt Hood. Tons of open space over there, with farms and orchards ... really beautiful. It's maybe a 2 hour drive from Portland.

Anyway, the area has what is called a "fruit loop". It's a loop of highway with many orchards and fruit stands you can stop at to browse and shop! (also wineries and alpaca farms!). We had a great time!

The alpaca farm was my favorite (of course!). It was baby alpaca season ... just look at this cutie!

This guy was my favorite .... quite the character!

My favorite picture of him was when he put his ears up! Reminds me of me in ponytails as a kid! Look how hilarious this picture is .... cracks me up!

A couple of other cuties there...

The farm also had a working dog to protect the herd at night from the coyotes. He was gorgeous ... and catching a few deserved winks while it was daylight.

That place was heaven, of course, and with a yarn shop! I asked when I could move in, but apparently the owners weren't thrilled with that idea! Go figure! :) I did leave with this though!!

A winery we stopped at on the "fruit loop" had a great flower garden in the back guests were allowed to explore!

Sadly, we were not allowed to move in there either! :(

One of the great things about that Hood River area was the wonderful views of Mt Hood everywhere you went. Here are just a few taken throughout the weekend!

Yeah, I tell ya ... that was one nice weekend! I'm already jonesing to go back!

So there you have it .... the latest on some "b"s!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Favorite quote of the day

"You can always tell an old soul by how friendly they are to trees. To dogs, too."
-- Mike Dooley

Cheers to all the other old souls out there!

Monday, September 08, 2008

Have you ever had ......

... one of those mornings where you actually included an open can of cat food in with your packed lunch?? Yeahhhhhhhhhhh. Happy Monday morning to me! Sigh.

So I find the cat food when I'm sorting through my food at work and then have to hide it in the back of the break room fridge, cuz really ... how do you explain THAT to your coworkers?!

I tell ya .... the time for putting me in a nursing home keeps creeping closer and closer!! ;)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

You Know You Have Too Many Houses When....

So I just read this quote from Barak Obama about John McCain:

"Somebody asked John McCain, 'How many houses do you have?’ And he said, I’m not sure. I’ll have to check with my staff. True quote: I’m not sure, I’ll have to check with my staff."


I hope one day that we are all so lucky to have so many you forget count. Like "oh right ... that's right ... add one more to the total ... I forgot about that beach house in Fiji. Crap, and that mansion in Belize. Oh wait, does a penthouse apartment in Paris count???"

Yeah. Or maybe just to have a staff. How fun would that be??? Where do you sign on for that!?! I want a cleaning staff, and a cooking staff, and pool boy staff (what?), and a grocery shopping staff, and a cat box cleaning staff, and and and!!!

Man, that's the good life. Especially that cat box cleaning staff. Cuz yee doggie, my cats know how to dirty up a box, know what I'm sayin'?!

Only when I am so lucky, I plan on knowing what I have. Otherwise, I'd feel pretty ungrateful, you know?! And I'm not saying that McCain isn't grateful ... it could just be a confusion over whether he owns the property or his wife does, or whether he was unsure if he was supposed to count each condo he owned or just count the entire condo property as "1 property". Could happen. (or he could be an ungrateful ass rich guy .... don't know! ;))

Either way, I don't think Obama should be using this as an example of McCain being out of touch with your average American. Cuz really, Obama, how many "average" Americans make $4 million dollars a year and live in million dollar mansions?!! Yeah, Pot, meet Kettle. Just because McCain (and his wife) have more money than you, doesn't make you average. Just sayin'.

(Wait a minute ... how did I go from writing a short, mocking post to standing up on this political soap box???? Sorry about that!) (*slinks off soap box and starts browsing ads for cat box cleaners *)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

So my honey C likes to kayak. And I've never really kayaked before. Of course, once you hear my story, you will have to say that I STILL don't kayak. Technically. But I'm getting ahead of myself. :)

C knows that I'm lazy (it's a fact, why deny it!?! :)). Sometimes he teases me, other times he appeases me (ha! Just call me Dr Seuss!). And so kayaking is one of the times where he appeases me. To do so, we tandem kayak! Which means we have a big ole kayak for two that he rows while I just sit and pretend that I'm back in Venice with my gondolier rowing behind me. It works out really well I must say! He's happy that we're kayaking together, and I'm happy that I don't have to exert myself rowing for hours. It's a good compromise really.

Plus, this allows me to sit and take pictures. This makes him happy as he likes my photos and will add them to his screensaver slideshow or print them out, frame them, and decorate his home with them. So it's a win-win.

Recently we grabbed some friends and headed out to kayak outside Portland in a place called Scappoose. The area was very peaceful with lots of wildlife, so I have some pictures to share. Take a gander!

First we spotted some osprey with a nest atop a big pole. Here's mom in the nest with the two young 'uns.

And here's papa watching over them from a nearby pole:

And here's mama osprey heading out to hunt (sheesh! Stuck raising the kids AND hunting for them while he just sits his arse over on another pole watching the scenery! That ain't right! :))

And here's a blue heron we rowed by then later spotted in a tree:

That's a weird looking bird, isn't it?! Almost dinosaur-age looking. Weird.

Here are some sandpipers. Too cute! I love these guys!

Oh, and we can't forget the traditional ducks and geese:

Boy, did they make a ruckus when we were cruising by!

A couple of other shots along the way:

And the group at our turn around point:

And last but not least, as we were almost back to our starting point, we stumbled upon a cow which had JUST given birth! So we hung out on the water watching as the mama cow cleaned up her calf a bit, then as the baby tried standing for the very first time! So cute! What a great thing to see! (well, the afterbirth part wasn't SO great .... but the rest of it .... very, very cool! :))

Fresh outta the oven, all wet and gooey!

Mama trying to clean baby up a bit:

Baby's first stand, with mama looking on:

Ta da!!!!

All in all a very good time! I highly recommend this kayak thing! (Especially if you can wrangle someone else into doing the rowin' for you! ;))

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

For sale: Used shoes, great at concerts

My friend M and I went to the Alkaline Trio concert last night. Since I wasn't real familiar with the band (this concert was M's pick), I decided to forgo the stressful "smuggling of the camera" foray ("will they find it this time, will they find it this time, shit ... what if they find it???"), since this venue (the Roseland) does a pretty good job of searching both body and purses. And I didn't want to get blacklisted* over a band I didn't yet care about (errr, no offense, Alk! ;)).

So we get there early enough to get our choice of front row seats up in the balcony. The balcony is "U"-shaped and we like one edge which puts us near the front, really close to the stage (the stage situated across the top of the "U"). These seats also keep us from having to stand for hours packed in like sardines on the general admission floor below, which more often than not, also turns into a huge elbow throwing mosh pit (hello, NO thank you!!). So not only do we have a nice safe seat, but we also have a great view of the band AND of the craziness down below (highly entertaining to watch, don't think it isn't!).

The crowd at this point is very thin. The doors just opened and it's only a little after 6:30pm. So not many folks at all. But about 5 minutes after we sit down, two twenty something guys sit down in the seats immediately to my right (M is sitting to my left). Dudes, they stink to HIGH heaven of alcohol. AND while one guy leaves to go get them beers (sigh), the other one starts chatting us up.

And don't get me wrong, they are very nice guys. So it's not like they are obnoxious drunks or anything; they are being very polite. But they are talking to us .... continually. M and I keep making eye contact and snickering under our breaths as it is pretty funny as they just don't.shut.up! But since they seem relatively harmless, all is good. And the guy next to me (ummm, I'll call him "Chris") says that Alkaline Trio is one of his favorite bands so he is VERY excited to see them. And his buddy ("Corey") hasn't seen them before so he's jazzed too.

So anyway, the first opening band The Fashion takes the stage, so everyone stops chatting. Well, almost everyone. Because, though Chris and Corey stop talking to us, they continue to talk to each other the ENTIRE time The Fashion is on the stage. Weird. I mean, first, didn't y'all pay good money to come and listen to the bands?? And secondly, trying to talk at a concert while a band is playing is NOT an easy feat, let me tell you! You basically have to position your mouth against the other person's ear and yell directly into their ear canal. Even then, you only catch about 20% of what the other person is saying. And yet, Chris and Corey seemed to be unfazed by it at all. Kudos.

After The Fashion finish (they did a good job, btw, look for them to gain in popularity in the states soon), Chris and Corey make another alcohol run (beer and shots! - double sigh). They come back and chat a bit with us and also with new folks who just sat down behind us. They are Chatty Kathys, let me tell you!!! And at this point, the venue is starting to fill in nicely with all the latecomers.

And again, once the next opening band, American Steel, hits the stage, Chris and Corey get lost in very intense conversations between the two of them, throughout the band's entire performance. What the..??? I tried eavesdropping (what? ;)) to no avail. Darnit!!! Cuz it looked like a really interesting conversation!! :)

Okay, so finally the opening bands are done, and the stage is getting set for Alkaline Trio. It's probably about 9pm at this point. Chris has slowed down considerably (he's been pretty hyper) and is sitting with his chin leaning on his propped up hand, eyes closed. He mumbles something to Corey and Corey bolts out of his seat and heads downstairs. M and I are transfixed, wondering where Corey is going. Is he getting a barf bag? Some food to soak up the alcohol?? Medics?? A souvenir t-shirt?? What???

Anyway, while Corey is gone, Chris rouses himself enough to lean over to me (argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and mumble something. You know "The Mumble" I'm talking about? The kind which indicates the mumbler is NOT feeling well and must mumble because they don't have the energy to actually speak normally? Yeah, THAT mumble. NOT a good sign. Especially as this points his mouth in MY direction, and I have a fear that more than words will be spewing out of it shortly. And it takes like FIVE times for him to be coherent and loud enough for me to decipher that he is asking if I would like the beer he has on the balcony railing in front of him, of which he has taken only a sip. I know, right ... I told you he seemed like a nice guy. But uh no .... I give him the head shake, and hope he doesn't register the alarm I'm certain is written all over my face as I know that his evening is NOT headed in a good direction and that I will probably end up being part of it due to my very close proximity. Buggers!

He nods back off. Whew.

Corey shows back up and he has a bottle of water for his friend. Awwww. Isn't that sweet?! Unfortunately, instead of appreciating the fact that Chris seems to be comfortably sleeping this off, Corey thinks that giving his friend head noogies in an attempt to wake him will help the situation! (seriously, WTF???). Chris regains consciousness and grasps the water bottle that Corey shoves into his hands.

Two minutes later, Corey realizes that Chris has not had any of the water so opens the bottle and starts pouring some into Chris's mouth (oh, yeah ... this doesn't bode well!). I turn to M and give her the "oh shit" look. I turn back to find that Chris is leaning forward resting and Corey is looking at me over his back. I ask "so do you think he's going to get sick??" at which point Corey says "don't worry, I'm driving!". Ummm ..... okay, this isn't good. So while I'm looking at Corey in utter disbelief as he may not be three sheets to the wind, but he is certainly 2 1/2 sheets to the wind himself and definitely should not be driving, I feel M stand quickly to my left. I look up at her and see her staring in horror at Chris. I look over and realize he is vomiting onto the balcony railing right next to me. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So I'm up! And M and I do a quick shuffle to our left to exit the row and put some distance between us and The Smell. But not before I glance down over the balcony and see folks below also looking up in horror as some of the vomit makes it way down to the floor below (shudder!). Yeah, not good.

We find seats two rows back (which puts us in the back row as there are only three rows on each side) and quickly claim those. Corey gets Chris up and tries to guide him to the walkway behind us. I'm thinking he's going to take him home, but no ... he was just moving him away from The Vomit as well and sits him in other empty seats in our row, about 5 seats down from us.


I figure I am now out of vomit range, but don't think they should still be here. Apparently the venue didn't either, as about 5 minutes later, security shows up and escorts them downstairs. Woot.

Everyone in this section is greatly amused (and kinda grossed out). As new people show up, there are stories and questions about "where were you during The Great Vomit Of '08?" flying around everywhere! And I swear there are also people snapping pictures of the vomit, which is easily visible on the wide cement balcony railing, with their Blackberries and then emailing the pics to their friends. (sigh, this is where I wish I had my camera with me. Wouldn't a pic of been a nice addition to this post??! (what? really? you think not??? Ah, come on!! :)))

About ten minutes later, Corey comes back upstairs. Everyone in the section waits with bated breath to see what he is doing back. He goes down to The Vomit, leans over, and reaches into it (ack) and pulls out ..... Chris's digital camera! Everyone "ewwwwwwwwwwwws" in disgust and Corey says, "yeah, am I a good friend or what?!" and we all break out in applause! Cuz really, that IS a good friend! What a hoot.

Anyway, the rest of the concert we spent watching folks stepping into those seats, amazed at their luck at finding such primo seats so late in the game! Yeah, until either The Smell hits them, or courteous folks nearby point out The Vomit puddle, in which case you see the confusion, the comprehension, the horror, the mad dash out of the area, quickly followed by intense scrutinizing of their shoes for any residual vomit. Hee hee ... so entertaining! (I know, I'm easily amused!)

Speaking of shoes though, I'm pretty sure I'll be burning mine. I swear my right shoe and sock felt wet with vomit during the rest of the concert even though I looked and didn't see any, and really don't think they got hit (it must have been close though). Still .... I'm no longer loving them, so we'll have to see. I'll throw them through the wash first and see if the love comes back. If not ..... shoe shopping!!!!! (I know, I know ... twist my arm, will ya?! :))

At any rate, I THINK Alkaline Trio put on a really good show, but really, my attention was elsewhere, so I can't do a proper review. I DO know though that they will always be known to me now as The Band Who Played At The Vomit Show!

* Fine! They probably don't "blacklist" you, but I would have had to walk the camera back to the car or given up camera batteries or something!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Knitting Scout Pledge

How cute is this??!!! There is a website of Knitting Badges. You know, a'la Boy Scout badges?! Only ... for us knitters. Way too cute!

I figure I've earned at least the following:

The “Proselytize Knitting” Badge - A requirement for all Knitting Scouts, the recipient must do his or her bit to present knitting in a positive light, whilst at the same time avoiding all references to “hipness”, grandmothers, and yoga. [and other than my "Toothpick Hell" knitting post, I think I've not voiced my knitting frustrations TOO much! ;)]

The “MacGyver” Badge (Level One) - The recipient must demonstrate clever use of a non-knitting tool in a knitting-related scenario. For instance, recipient has used paper clips as stitch markers, or successfully whittled and then utilized bamboo skewers as dpns. [I am all over that "paper clip as a stitch marker" thing]

The “Inordinately Fond of Novelty Yarn” Badge - In which the recipient professes an arguably unhealthy affinity for yarn with slubs, sparkles, spangles, fur, feathery bits, and an unconscionable proportion of man-made fibre. Recipient makes no apology for the preference. [yeah, yeah, I have a plethora of fun fur scarves. What of it?? :)]

The “I’ve Knit Items With No Conceivable Practical Application” Badge - Recipients are those “special” campers who have knit items which somehow missed the mark of their intended application. There are probably more who are deserving of this badge than one would expect. [umm, can you say "accidental yamika"??]

The “Knitting Whilst Under the Influence” Badge - This applies to both actual knitting under the influence, as well as achieving moments of stunning intellectual clarity about ones knitting under the influence. Presumes talking about knitting whilst under the influence a given. [sometimes knitting just requires a little wine, dontcha know?! ;)]

Now if only they had a "My Friends Quake in Fear When I Say I've Knitted Their Baby a Gift" badge, I'd be all set!! :)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stop the presses!! The socks fit!!! Woot!

So the trip to Los Angeles was a success!!!!! And not only because, LOOK .... the socks I knit for my bf fit!!!!!

YAY! And not only did they fit, they fit perfectly!! Double yay!!!

But also, since C had never been to LA before, I was able to show him around a bit, what with LA being my home town and all.

(I also got to introduce him to my mom, and to my friend V and her family! YAY!)

Look how huge this city is .... all concrete, not many trees. It's quite a different view flying into Portland, Oregon, I tell ya!

First up, we hit Venice Beach.

I was hoping the loonies would be out in force for him to experience. I have a feeling that he was hoping the hot bikini rollerblading babes would be out in force for him to experience. ;) Sadly, we were both disappointed. Venice was pretty quiet for a nice sunny day. Of course, we were there before noon on a weekday so perhaps the loonies (and babes) are still sleeping at that time? :)

We did see this character though! Long live rasta!

And I like this photo I took of a lady walking on the pier.

But for the most part, not too many folks out and about on the boardwalk. Certainly no-one working out in the famous muscle beach portion of Venice.

And (thankfully?) no-one walking around in the plus-sized bikinis available (don't do it, people!)

So we gave up on people watching, and I dragged him to my favorite burger joint there in Venice .... Hinanos. It looks like a little dive bar (and it is ;)), but I swear the burgers are really, really good! So do yourself a favor and try it out next time you're there!

We also checked out Santa Monica's Third Street Promenade. And the Santa Monica pier. Many more people there.

Santa Monica Pier

They had a demonstration on the beach, showing a cross for each American soldier killed in Iraq. It made for a lot of crosses. :(

On a more chipper note, we drove up to the Hollywood Sign to get a better view (since the smog was certainly making its presence apparent). I always love seeing the Hollywood Sign.

We also took in a couple of Dodger games, as his Chicago Cubs just HAPPENED to be playing my Dodgers on his birthday! (how fortuitous!). As you can see, we had pretty great seats!

Also cool that this year is the Dodger's 50th anniversary. So I made sure to pick up some memorabilia while I was there!

Of course, I had to show C Rodeo Drive, Hollywood Blvd, and the Sunset Strip. We got out and walked along the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and took in some footprints at Grauman's Chinese Theater. Look, T2!! .... the Ocean's 11 guy's prints are on display now! (T2 and I looked high and low for them while we were there in Oct!). They are located smack dab in the center in front of the theater doors! (to anyone planning a trip there soon!)

Here's George Clooney's (le sigh!)

And Brad Pitt's:

And Jerry Weintraub's (the producer of the Ocean movies)

And Matt Damon's!

Dang luck ladies who were on hand to see those guys do their prints. George Clooney, Brad Pitt AND Matt Damon .... all in one place. Yikes-a-bee .... my breathing quickens just thinking about it!!! Whew.

Apparently they also did the stars of the Harry Potter movies as well as those are on display right below those of the Ocean's 11 guys.

For dinner Saturday night, we tried out Ketchup on the Sunset Strip. What a great place! We had so much fun! And the food was great! We tried a variety of appetizers, including some little burger "sliders" (which were FABULOUS) and even more fun was the sampler platter of fries and ketchup. Yep, three different french fries to try out with five different ketchups! Too much fun. And all quite delicious! I'd definitely go back, that restaurant was a hoot!

While we were leaving the restaurant, who should we see coming in but Jason Castro of American Idol fame. Being that David Cook and Michael Johns were my Idol boys this season (and of the two I'd probably only truly stalk David Cook), I gave Jason only a chin nod of recognition as I passed him. But C shook his hand and congratulated him as we walked by. So that was cute. It's never a real trip to LA until you see someone famous and see something being filmed (which we did on our way back from the Hollywood Sign).

So definitely a successful trip. Socks fit (check). Sunny weather (check). Saw something being filmed (check). Saw someone famous (check). Saw the Hollywood Sign (check). Doesn't get much more LA than that! ;)