Friday, September 09, 2005

A little Friday Craigslist for ya!

Okay, have never, EVER seen the following headline before (and I've seen some doosies ... lemme tell ya!) What do you think of this one?

Seeking nice girl with big nipples, or puffies

"Puffies"? Confounded me too. So I had to read on..........

Reply to: anon-@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-09-09, 12:25PM PDT

I hope that title doesn't get this post pulled.

I'm looking for a girl with all the normally desirable qualities: smarts, good heart, and attractive looks. Someone who likes to laugh and has a positive outlook on life. Many people have certain traits they find especially attractive in members of the opposite sex. Some prefer a certain height, hair color, eye color, ethnicity, etc. In my case, it has to do with breasts. In all other respects I'm a normal guy who tries to do the right thing and cares about others.

So in addition to the other qualities I listed, what "does it for me"? Large nipples or puffy nipples [excuse me?]. If you have either of these wonderful attributes and would like to meet a great guy who will definitely appreaciate you, please drop me a line. (Your pics get mine.)


Puffy nipples?? I need to get out more. Seriously. Puffy? Anyway, his "your pics get mine" left me wondering ... I mean, cuz it would seem he only really cares about what ONE part of you looks like. Do you just send a pic of those? Just askin'.

Heart broke and Lonely. - 35 (Westside) [again, what's with this opener to entice a woman? Crazy]

Well-Hung Italian Pool Boy seeks Financially Stable Older Women - 23 (Portland) [well, hear, hear! After all the old guys trying to buy younger women I post about ... here's the opposite. And yes, ladies .. it WOULD have been nice if this youngster had included a picture on his post. Dang him!]

are you smart, in shape, have big boobs, and smart??? - 30 [snicker. This one just makes me giggle with his double "smart" request. Not sure why. I could be loopy on too much sugar ;)]

Ah, but I didn't need to go to Craigslist to seek out "winners" this week. Had a couple come right to my mailbox .. oh yes I did. Here's my fave:

JUST A CHANCE. GIVE ME 5 MINS I WOULD HAVE YOU SCREANING MY NAME OUT IN DESIRE

Okay, so at least this guy lasted another minute than my two other similar offers. Though I must admit that any man that refers to "screaming" (or "SCREANING" as the case here may be) scares the bejeebus outta me. In my book ... screaming is NOT good. I think tortuous. That would be bad. Might I recommend, Mr 5 Minute Guy, the phrase "shouting in ecstasy". It's not quite as serial killer. Oh, and along the same line ... all caps .... freaky. You might want to rethink that too. Just sayin'!

2 comments:

AssociateDean said...

Kat, I like your blog. It's fun and I'm learning stuff. I thought I was finished learning stuff like this . . . thanks! QUESTION: I'm headed to Portland in a couple weeks. I'll be there on business but with friends. If you don't mind . . . what is your top 3 favorite dinner/drink spots in town? I'm intimately familiar with McMenamins so would there be anything else you would recommend. We can do anything from “Wild and Crazy” to “Stuck-up and Stuffy”. We’re 30 something and look it. Any help would be HUGE! Take good care.

Kat said...

Hi AssociateDean!

Hmmm. Places in downtown? Not really the one to ask because I tend to frequent places outside of downtown. BUT ... popular places to send visitors seem to be:

Jake's Grill
Portland City Grill (for the view)
Henry's 12th Street Tavern (for the meat market)
P.F. Chang's China Bistro

Something more mellow and more my style would be Old Town Pizza.

You can check out all the places I've listed (and others) on Portland Citysearch.

http://portland.citysearch.com/

But really ... for downtown grubbing ... wander down NW 21st or NW 23rd or in "The Pearl". Lots to see and browse and many great restaurants to choose from.

Hope this helped .. if only a little!! :) And I hope you enjoy Portland!! (where are you from?)