Wednesday, July 27, 2005

More Crazies on the Loose

Ah Craigslist ..... what would I do without ya??

Bored already [Yeah, me too. So much so that I won't even be opening your ad]

SICK OF BEING SINGLE - 24 (vancouver) [Ah yes, now what woman doesn't like the sound of desperation??]

Loser here...need somebody to reject? (pdx) [Consider it done. NEXT!]

You're cute when you scream... - 22 (Beaverton, OR) [Does anyone else think "Serial Killer" when they read this one??? Seriously?! I even opened his ad hoping he would explain a bit more but NO ... just his pictures with a request for yours. What the F, people??!!!]

Are you a woman of Great color? - 47 (PDX) [Huh? This one we must read]:

Reply to:
Date: 2005-07-26, 9:12PM PDT

A colorful woman of happiness, joy, and excitement pleases God! Your ethnic or tribal background is whom you are – and this should be shared. God wishes to exalt you as his woman and child. [don't you just LOVE someone that knows EXACTLY what 'God' wants?! I bet this guys uses the phrase "It is God's will" a lot too. Ya know, cuz apparently he's on The In With 'God' and not just A Crazy Freak like some people might think!!!]

It would be my pleasure to know you, become your friend, know God is in your life, and become your love.

I am a Spiritual man who believes in you and God. You will enjoy my touch, happiness, love, excitement, and prolonged pleasure of life. [ah yes, and not only does he know what 'God' wants ... but he knows what all women (well, at least the "Colorful" ones) want. And you WILL enjoy it damnit. Because he said so.]

[Man, you frighten me almost as much as The Scream Guy]

When we divorce, I promise you can see the kids - 27 (Portland) [Perfect! The Eternal Pessimist! Just what I was looking for. Oh, and btw, what kids????!!!]

Anybody want to just fuck.... - 28 (south west) [Hello?! This is NOT the Casual Encounters section. Sheesh. Take this crap elsewhere]

wanted, 100lb Girlfriend... (Portland oregon) [you're kidding, right?? 100 pounds?? Let's see ...]

Reply to:
Date: 2005-07-26, 8:17PM PDT

I'm sorry to have a post with a title like mine but it's just so true. [nope, he's NOT kidding]

I have dated so many women and I've just grown tired of being with women that have a fiew extra pounds on them, seems like almost every woman I see has atleast 30 extra pounds if not more. [Good God! A 130 pound woman!!! HOLY SHIT! Can someone SO heavy even fit through doorways?????????????????????? They should be taken out and shot IMMEDIATELY! 130! How HIDEOUS!]

I know this post will generate alot of hate mail but I don't really care.

I am not overweight so please I would like to find a very slender woman who might be interested in a relationship. ["slender", "anorexic", "see through" ... whatever]

I will only respond to those who send pics and are 24-32 years old
No 420 friendly art students please and no unemployed but in collage either. [do you mean "college"? You know, that place you apparently have never been?? Just sayin']


Seeking busty SF any age or race for LTR - 47 (portland) [Ah yes, because "busty" IS the most important trait one should look for in that soul mate for life]

I am touching fund - 32 (BEAVERTON) [Huh?? Say again?!! You are touching what??]

And just so you don't think ALL THE MEN posting on Craigslist are losers ... here is my favorite of the day!

Successful SBM Seeking Cute, Curvy, Pear-Shaped Gal - 44 (NE PDX) [that's right ... I LOVE YOU, Mr Successful SBM Seeking Cute, Curvy, Pear-Shaped Gal!! You rock!]


T1 said...

I love that the crazy guy who wants stick figures says he won't accept "420 friendly art students". What could he possibly mean by that?! Hmm. And is the "no umemployed but in collage" another jab at art students? Damn collage freaks! Boycott all collages!

Kat said...

Done! I hereby declare a Boycott On All Collages. Effective immediately. :)

ms c said...

well, you know, arty/collage/420 arty/collage/ all just sort of goes together.

i'm still stuck on the women of color guy or colorful women or whatever. he sounds like a missionary who wants to do some preachin' if you get my drift.