Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Any decent single Oregon men? Anyone??

Okay, I just read this news blurb:

Willie Windsor, 54, of Phoenix has for several years lived as a full-time baby, wearing frilly dresses, diapers and bonnets, sucking on a pacifier, eating Gerber cuisine, and habitually clutching a rag doll, in a home filled with oversized baby furniture. According to a long Phoenix New Times profile in June, the diaper is not just a prop. Windsor said he worked hard to become incontinent, even chaining the commode shut to avoid temptation, and the reporter admitted feeling "disconcert(ed)" that Windsor might be relieving himself at the very moment he was describing his un-toilet training. Apparently, Windsor's brother, ex-wife, girlfriend and a neighbor tolerate his lifestyle (though no girlfriend has yet been willing to change his diapers). Windsor is a semi-retired singer-actor and said he's been celibate for nine years. [Phoenix New Times, 6-9-05]

.......and my one thought (other than feeling the need to shower, and shower, and shower some more) was that I'm surprised this guy hasn't emailed me as a potential suitor!!

Yep, I kid you not ... the dating world is THAT bad. Cuz I tell ya ... the only men emailing me lately have been real loo-loos.

Here's a rundown of my most recent potential suitors:

Guy #1 aka Psycho: said he works for a mental health facility ... but by his picture I'm guessing he's a patient. Seriously. Plus he used the phrase "They allow me improvisation along w/behavioral techniques at work" Uh-huh. They "allow" you. Isn't that a telling phrase. I think so. Do they also allow you visitors every Sunday from 1pm to 4pm??

Guy #2 aka Old* Far-away Guy: he is 49 yr old and lives in NY. Hello?! New York?? Perhaps you didn't notice that I'm 37 and live in Portland OREGON. Yes, Oregon ... that's THREE THOUSAND miles away. You aren't even moving. Nor am I. So the point would be?

Guy #3 aka Mr Edjucated: he said he is "compationate", "spontianious", "layed back" and enjoys living life to the "fullist". He is looking for someone to treat him "with kindnest and compation". Spelling is apparently a pet-peeve of mine. I understand the occasional errors ... but HELLO ... when you're emailing someone for the VERY FIRST TIME ... can ya NOT use a spell checker?? Just suggestin'. Ya know, that whole "first impression" thing?

Guy #4 aka Mr Picture Worth a 1000 Words:

'Nuff said, right?! WRONG! You should ALSO know that Mr 49 Yr Old Skull Shirt didn't even want a relationship. Nope, just sex. Yee-doggie! Where do I sign up???!!! (help me, peeps!)

Sigh. Depressing, ain't it?! So am I overlooking something in one of these four guys or is it really THAT BAD?!

* Okay, I realize that 49 is not OLD. Cuz it isn't. However, it is 12 years older than me. So 49 year olds hitting on 37 year olds is like me specifically trolling for 25 year old men. And that's just ick (though 25 year old men trolling for me is A-OK). HEY NOW ... I hear ya'll talking about my stalking of the young pretties. But HELLO ... stalking is different than trolling. It is to! Stalking does not involve the actual propositioning of the young pretties. Nope. Just the surreptitious touching and picture taking. And maybe some internal propositioning and panting. See, totally different!


T1 said...

So...I have some comment about you and 25 year olds...it's here somewhere....hmm....looking, looking...oh yeah.


Kat said...

HEY! He was twenty-SEVEN! Hello?! .. that's only TEN years younger!

And it's not like I was out trolling for the young pretties and found him. He threw himself at ME!

So that's totally different! I mean, what's a girl to do in that situation?... throw him back right away??

Uh, yeah ... I didn't think so! ;) Why that would just be plain ole rude!

T1 said...

Just sayin' is all.

Sis said...

Hey, I say if Demi Moore can do it why not you?

I am living vicariously, and I say the younger the better (well, maybe draw the line at 25)!