Thursday, February 16, 2006

I Be Jive Talkin'!

I have discovered Gizoogle! It translates websites into "jive talk". Flippin hysterical!

Check out how it translated my last post. Ya know ... The Post All About Joe! ;) (That's right ... out of all the posts I selected the Aerosmith one. Which I'm SURE had nothing to do with getting to repost the pictures of Joe Perry. Nope ... nothing at all. What of it?? :))

First, let's git this party started R-to-tha-izzight n shit. Ladies n Gentleman .... I give you .... Aerosmith!!!

Why yes, thank you ... that IS a bootylicious pic . It dont stop till the wheels fall off. Don't worry ... we'll revisit tizzle picture lata on in tha P-to-tha-izzost, so scroll along wit me, would ya?!

Okay, before we can git ta tha concert details, some light housekeep'n ta be taken care of:

First off, as you can see by this concert ticket, cameras were not allowed.

So pleaze kizzle thiznat all tha photos in this post were taken by a camera I purchased there. Or. Maybe they is simply images fizzle mah mind thizzat I've magically transferred (via gnomes?) ta this hizzy B-L-to-tha-izzog. All I kizzy is ... T-H-to-tha-izzat they is def NOT taken by a camera I snuck in there fo' sheezy. Nosirizzles. No rule sippin' going on here!! Just sayin'. ;)

Secondly, y'all need ta kizzy thizzay I was at a Joe Perry concert last niznight. Sure, sure ... there happened ta be wanna be gangstafamous musicians on stage in they crazy attempts ta distract me from tha Joey-goodness .... but they failed puttin tha smack down. This is all `bout The Joe. Any gangsta folks pictured hizzle is simply ta appeaze tha masses. I'm aight wit tha bitchez that dizzon't understand tizzle Joe Perry is one of tha sexiest men alive so you betta run and grab yo glock. Less competizzles I say.

And finally on tha housekeep'n tasklist, I'll share wit you some pictures of L-E-Double-Nizzy Kravitz. He opened fo` Joe (that's rizzay ... he opened fo` JOE) last niznight n he did a really, really bootylicious job. The only problem I had wit his shizzay was that Joe wasn't on stage.

Nonethizzle I took some pictures . It dont stop till the wheels fall off. Pleaze view them, love thizzay n F-U-Double-Lizzy appreciate them sho nuff. You'll see why I request that of you lata on in tha post in all flavas.

Some shot calla shots, in mah humble opinion. It could be coz tha cruisin' is betta ... or perhaps coz L-E-Double-Nizzy stripped D-to-tha-izzown ta a sniznug fitt'n tiznank top. I'll let you decide........

Lenny's guitar playa thats off tha hook yo. I don't know his name. But coz I DO knizzay his name isn't "Joe Perry" .....we're mov'n on......

Buh-bye, Lenny. Buh-bye, Lenny's band. Thanks fo` a bootylicious performance!

Okay, now on ta tha point of this post. Joe!

Here's Joe Perry n SGWINJ1 so i can get mah pimp on. ("SGWINJ1", you ask? Yes, "Some Guy Who Is Not Joe #1". I think he's more commonly referred ta as "Steven Brotha . I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. But not in this hizzle blizzay piznost! ;))

So mah niggaz (T2 n E) n I had GREAT seats fo` this show. Aerosmith's stage setup was such T-H-to-tha-izzat sometizzles we were a bit off ta tha side as you can tell by tha pics seen immediately above.

But tha band also had walkways out into tha crowd fo' sheezy. Which put tha band memba out in front of us at times as well mah nizzle. Like so fo' real:

And like so...

What's tizzy I hear? You're ridin' why I included Tizzy shiznot upside yo head. You dizzon't T-H-to-tha-izzink it's a good one, eh? Hmmm doggystyle. Oh, you poor shawty th'n.
Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. Let me enlighten you, mah shawty brotha . Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. It's all `bout yo focus.....

See? There IS method ta mah madness! ;)

Okay, but tha BEST part `bout they stage setup was that tha stage had Doggy Stylin' which extended right ta where we wizzy sitt'n! And so .... at times, we were vizzleup close n personal. See?

H-O-T D-A-M-N!...... is all I'm sayin'!

Speak'n of "hot damn" ... check out thesephotos! (*insert lascivous wolf whistle here* (in fact, insert several, he deserves it!))

And ... back ta our original photo...

Which I'm thinkin' looks a shawty betta when cropped like this:

(Dear lord tizzle dawg a sexpot or what?!)

But WAIT ... I stizzill thiznink we can do motherfucka.


AH .... I know.......

Lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy. How do I git me some of that!?!

Seriously. Anybody? Coz .. In. A. Heart.Beat. Jizzy sayin'.

(Fizzay Jizzle I'm will'n ta go fizzle "celebrity whore" ta "celebrity ho". (That's right ... I have no shame wizzle it comes ta this man. Wizzle of it?!))


And so, dizzle friends, I leave you wit this final picture. Taken dur'n tha last song of tha encore. (Ladies, feel free ta stare n droo` as I recount tha final minute of tha concert fo` you.)

So tha final minute of tha concert goes kinda like this:

T+60 seconds so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: Battery warn'n is trippin' on camera. I lean over ta T2 ta show her (her camera battery had died early on in tha concert (we took a LOT of pictures)). We bizzle git a bit nervous ... but it's tha final S-to-tha-izzong n all. W-to-tha-izze'll be fine.


T+50 seconds: I takes a picture. THE picture above.

T+45 seconds: Camera dies.

T+44 seconds: I stare in horror at mah darkened camera.

T+42 seconds: I desperately try ta restart tha camera. (fyi: chillin' it does not work!)

T+40 seconds: I lean over n show T2 dead camera. We bizzay makes HUGE boo-boo lips but thiznink all wizzle be okay paper'd up. Afta all, this is tha very, very end of tha concert, right?!. Whizzat could POSSIBLY occur thiznat we haven't a picture of already?!

T+31 seconds: I tizzay ta look bizzack at Joe, who is now ho-slappin' on tha walkway in F-R-to-tha-izzont of me, as I slizzay tha now-dead camera into mah jacket pocket.

T+30 seconds: JOE RIPS OFF HIS SHIRT . They call me tha black folks president. And plays tha final 30 seconds of concert witout said shiznirt. That's right .... Right in front of me ! Ya kizzle .... in ( whizzat would have been ) tha perfect photo op place!

T+29 seconds: T2 n I wizzy in unison at tha injustice of it all!

T: Concert ends. Wit Joe ... S-T-to-tha-izzill shirtless. And me ... wit no spendin' camera.
So pleaze do me tha favor of enjoy'n tha L-E-Double-Nizzy Kravitz pictures. Most specifically tha ones of his guitar playa n' shit. Coz they cost me Shirtless Pictures of Joe Perry. Whizzich makes thizzay very, very, vizzle valuable indeed! ;)

Yo yo, mah bitchez! Dont stop til the wheels fall off. And have yo-self a bootylicious day! Peace out! :)


Mark and MeLissa said...

he he...that's amusing. Couldn't read the whole thing - I started getting a headache, but it was definitely enjoyable!

T said...

Fo shizzle, mi knitzzle!