Monday, July 03, 2006

Princess Procrastination!

Yep, folks, that's ME! As well as Her Royal Highness of Avoidance-land. And errr, Queen of Denial! (not to be confused with 'Queen of De-Nile' (ha!))

Anyway, so as I type, the ink is being laid to the paper that binds me to purchasing a new home. (well, unless I choose to forfeit my Earnest Money .... which.I.don't!). Yep! Me!... buying a new home! Whoo hooo!

BUT ... that means I have only until closing on this new place to sell my current house.

Ya know, the house which isn't on the market yet.

And isn't even ready to be shown yet. (yikes!)

Uh yeah.

So you see where I should maybe be working on that stuff?? Ya know, the weeding, pruning, bark dusting, cleaning, packing, updating, general spit-shining of the place??

Not to mention all the stuff I need to plan for the new place ... like scheduling all the flooring people and general contractors in there to get me estimates for work I'll need done as soon as I get possession ... when the only time I'll have for them before it closes will be the two hour window I'll have during the inspection .... which will be THIS WEEK!

Yeah, me neither. :)

I have been spending SO much time lately soul searching, and house hunting, and house vs condo pondering, and house hunting, and not selling vs selling pondering, and house hunting, and number crunching, and house hunting ... that I am FED UP!

I figure now that the decision to sell has been made ... and the decision to buy has been made ... and the decision WHAT to buy has been made .... and the sale has been negotiated (no easy task with this seller ... trust me on this)... I deserve a little Time of Celebration.

And, who knew, but apparently Time of Celebration includes a little Craigslist Bashing. (I know! I'da never guess that either ... but apparently it must be true because here it is! ....on the internets! And if it's on the internets ... it MUST be true! Right? Right! :))

So without further ado.......

I like to eat dead babies - 24
Reply to: pers-@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-29, 1:17PM PDT

Hi, I like to eat dead babies and would love to meet with a gall who does also. I prefer mine medium rare with a sprig of parsley, but sometimes like to eat them ah la sushi. Does that make me weird? Maybe so, but I don't care. It's what I do, and I need someone to love me for who I am. Now, I'm not some sort of sicko like you might be thinking. I never eat a dead baby that is old enough for a personality, thats just plain sick and wrong. Just young enough that all they can say is "goo goo ga ga", that's it. So please, if you prefer dead children, do not respond, sick-o.

Ok, I might be exaggerating just a little. What I really like is unborn babies. You know, like chicken babies, fresh out of the shell. But I had you going, didn't I? Admit it.

Really, if your looking for a funny guy, there is none funnier than me.

[?????????????????????????????????????????]

This only counts if I'm in a funny mood, otherwise I'm really not that funny at all.

[okay, well that explains it. He obviously wasn't in his "funny mood". Cuz "eating dead babies" ... even coming up with the thought of "eating dead babies" ... rather frightening if'n you ask me. Just sayin'!]

U R a slender female....friendship ONLY..... - 51

[all your friends MUST be "slender". Bullshit.]

you no you want to
Reply to: pers-craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-28, 8:26PM PDT

[Oh "know" I don't!]

Im looking for a girl who wants to move in with me - 42
Reply to: pers-@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-29, 12:59AM PDT

Looking for a nice caring hearted woman, easy going like me, whose open to exploring all aspects of love, relationship, intimacy, sharing fun times together and responsibilities as they come.

[in other words ... he's looking for a sugar-mama. Why not just say it, guy?! "I NEED A SUGAR MAMA! (there! I said it for you!)]


And probably the strangest one I've yet to see (and that's saying something folks!]....
Need woman who wants to get pregnant now, not later - 37
Reply to: pers-@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-29, 1:42PM PDT

almost desperate decent looking man looking for woman who wants to get pregnant at any cost and wants me in the picture. 5'11" 190lbs. blue eyes br. hair and stocky built. want someone soon to get pregnant and worry about the relationship later. I will marry you if i get you pregnant and you want me. Please give this a try and respond I need a child in my life. all serious inquiries considered. Love Shawn

["almost desperate"?? Oh no, no, buddy. I do believe you have crossed the line to "full-blown desperate"! Just sayin'!]


See? Isn't living in Avoidance-land fun?!? :)

6 comments:

Kimbre said...

People are just plain scary.

shannon said...

those people are loose in our city?!?!?! EEP!

pagan said...

ROFL I love those things Kat! My favorite was in the LA Weekly several years back. I cut it out of the paper 'cause I knew that no one would believe me! "Pre-Op Transexual Lesbian into water play seeking Cross-dressing Lesbian for ltr."

At least s/he knew what they wanted!

Congrats on the house!

Jules said...

ROFL! You crack me up!

Sis said...

Congratulations on the new digs!! Wish I lived closer to help you pack and move....


NOT!!

Ok, I really would if I could. I will send "fast selling" fairies your way for your current home. Good luck.

Oh, and what is bark dusting?? I must be missing something because I have never done that and never want to either. Does it hurt?

Carla said...

So funny, I am off to go visit craigslist now!