Thursday, July 27, 2006

Another fly in the ointment

Soooooo .... unbeknownst to me .... there has been this whole melodrama going on behind my back with regard to the purchase of my condo. In that .... the seller tried to back out this week.

Can you imagine??!!


But my realtor made sure to keep it from me .... even asking the title people and my lender not to say anything (hehe) .. .because she didn't want me to worry (I say "worry" ... but I believe my realtor actually used the more accurate term "FREAK OUT"!). Because ya know,
my house is SOLD ... recorded TODAY ..... and I need to be out in a few days (I negotiated some free rent-back in order to get some work done on the condo before I move in) .... and I would have had NOWHERE to go.

Here's the scoop as I'm hearing it now:

The Seller went in to sign the closing documents this week and found out that he owes on a prepayment penalty for paying off his loan early. He freaked out and said "no sale!"

Isn't that crazy? What are we talkin'? ... maybe two grand?

My guess is he probably tried to pass this expense off to me ... or to the two realtors (mine and his). But they weren't having none of that (it is HIS responsibility to know the terms of his own loans, for goodness sakes)

And somehow they managed to get him in to sign the papers again.

Unfortunately, during Signing Attempt #2 he received a phone call from some schmuck of his on the east coast who has been "advising" him all along in the sale of this condo (and really, causing many problems during earlier negotiations) who told him to put the pen downnnn and walk awayyyy from the closing documents. And The Seller did!

More conversations with both realtors and The Seller ... and quite possibly some mention of a lawsuit and The Seller being left with NO equity whatsoever ..... and he agreed to come in to sign the papers for a THIRD time.

To which he did. FINALLY. Like only two hours ago!!!!

OMG!

But WAIT ... there's MORE. So now that he finally signed all the papers, we can still close as scheduled on the condo tomorrow. Which means that The Seller must turn over possession to me by 5pm.

Right.

So NOW The Seller is saying there is NO WAY he'll be out by tomorrow at 5pm (as has been the plan for the past THREE WEEKS). He wants til Saturday at noon.

Y'all ... this man has some wool rugs, a few floor pillows, a wood slat thing with a futon mattress on it for his couch, a bed, and a hookah (which I'm thinkin' wasn't just used for tobacco). That's IT! That shit can be moved out in an HOUR. BUT NOOOO. He says it can't be done but if I can just give him til noon Saturday he'll be all out!

Bullshit.

This man does not play nice. And he's been flying his Freak Flag ultra high since the first day I met him (I met him the first time I viewed the condo with my realtor. He's so paranoid he wouldn't allow a lockbox to be on his door so either he or his realtor ONLY could show his house.). He's a crazy one, I tell ya. And you can't trust anything he says. Even his realtor knows this (and refuses to do business with him again)

So I KNOW that even if I give him til noon Saturday ... he will completely and utterly take advantage of the situation and won't be out. I KNOW this. I would show up Saturday at noon and he will be spouting lame excuses as to why NOTHING has been removed yet.

And granted, it's not like I HAVE to be in there this weekend. It would be nice. So I can frickin' start disinfecting that place for starters (as I said, I've met him .... there will be MUCH disinfecting going on). But he won't be out.

So now I'm not so sure what to do. I've spoken to my realtor and said I would graciously allow him the extra time. BUT. I want something SIGNED that says he's either out by noon Saturday or he starts owing me big bucks for every hour he's late. I figure, with him, money is a HUGE incentive.

The problem is .... what are the chances he'll sign that kind of document?

Slim to none, my friends. Slim to none.

So we'll see what happens. Does he:

a) do the right thing and get his shit out when he was originally supposed to?
b) get his shit out by noon on Saturday?
c) leave by noon on Saturday but TRASH the place?
d) drag his move out over the course of the entire weekend .... giving new yet lamer excuses every hour?
e) refuse to leave? Ever.

Any guesses?


5 comments:

pdxWoman said...

this one is going to dump the water out of his hookah all over the rug. he's probably rubbing his nekked body on the walls, too. while he chants something in a language not even he knows.

T1 said...

My suggestion is that not only do you clean it...but you "clean" it. Have Miss K come over and cleanse the place. Get rid of that crazy guys bad juju.

And knowing your realtor personally...I'm glad she kept you from the freak out.

Cher said...

Oh, dear. I'm thinking you'll need to smudge the place with a little burning of the sage when the nutjob leaves.
Which he should do. On time. Or start paying you. I'd say $100 an hour for every extra hour that he's there?

d said...

You should let it spill now that you had a house you were selling too in this big realty mess and that you've managed to keep it together and be the bigger (wo)man all along while both these poor slubs, who don't even have a glimmer of the kind of hootzpah or class you have, have been freaking out and being tres difficile. Maybe it could clue them in as to how a real ADULT behaves in the face of much stress and ciomplex scenarios...

All in all, I'd say you rawk. RAWK!

Mark and MeLissa said...

Where do you find these people? :) Two crazies for one moving episode...it's uncanny. Perhaps, though, it's a good sign for your dating life? I mean, with all this going on in the house buying arena, it stands to reason that things in the other arena must improve, right?