If anyone is at a loss as to what to get me this year....

T2 and I ran across these shoes in the Louis Vuitton store while we strolled along Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. Aren't they the cutest??

We both pounced on them and began petting them immediately. Ummm, that is, until we turned them over and saw the price!! 1120 bucks!!!! Holy Jumpin' Jehoshaphat! Yeah, we gently replaced them and backed away as quickly as possible.

Do love them though. Nay, lust after them! So if you haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet, I'm a shoe size 8 1/2! Just sayin' is all! They're only $1120 .... I'm worth it, I SWEAR!!!!! ;)

Me and my smoky lungs are back from LA!

Actually, I expected the air to be much worse down there! The discolored sky could have been smoke ... could have been smog ..... all I know is ... I'm happy to live and breathe in Portland! ;)

But anyway, great trip down south with T2! We saw the mama, we hung out with friends, we did touristy stuff, AND we saw Bruce! YAY!

I will soon post pictures and stories ... but today I am busy trying to catch up at work.

Plus perhaps hyperventilating a little because I am going to a Halloween party tonight and I have decided to take a MAN with me! (I know ... scary). It will be the first intro of him to some friends. Wish me much wine! :)

Until later.....

To all you cat owners out there!

I KNOW you've experienced mornings like this! (Funniest with sound, so turn up those speakers!)

Poopsie-daisies!

So I've mentioned that Emma is perhaps not the sharpest tool in the shed, right?! Yeah, well ... here is further proof.

I missed out on videoing the first 5 minutes of this venture, Miss Emma trying to find out where the poop smell was coming from! She kept blaming me and sniffing at me any time I came near. But no ..... it 'twas her own bum! It just took Miss Brainiac a little while to figure it out.

But the good news is .... she eventually did! I think she deserves a gold star!! ;)

Think "Flat As A Pancake!"

In honor of mi amiga who is getting her first ever mammogram today .....

.....And in honor of me who has to call to make an appointment for my very own first ever mammogram today......

... the phrase "Jebus on a cracker" will hereby be "Teetus on a cracker" this week ..... for obvious reasons!

Of course, she is getting a mammogram because her doc recommends it for anyone in certain age groups. No worries there.

I am getting a mammogram because a medium said to.

Oh yeah, you heard me.

So there's a good time. Try explaining that to your doctor. "Uh hi. Yeah, I have a friend who went to a medium. And the medium told her all kinds of freakily true things. And one thing she said was that she has a friend with my name who needs to go get a mammogram. She said she'll be fine, just scared, but yeah ... she needs to get a mammogram."

Uh huh.

So, my doc gave me the referral to the mammographer (??? ... hehe) and to a psychiatrist! (HA! I kid! I mean, I could use one, don't get me wrong, but my doc didn't even really bat an eye. Which I found relieving, and yet at the same time, slightly odd! ;))

So anyway, wish us luck!

It's official ... I have a Girl Crush!

Yep, that's right .... my first Girl Crush! Crazy Aunt Purl came to town last night and T2 and I headed over to Powell's for the book signing.

Y'all .... that woman is frickin' ADORABLE! Gorgeous as all get-out, funnier than my mama (sorry mom), and if she is ill at ease speaking in front of folks she certainly doesn't show it! I wanted to hate her for all that .... but I couldn't .... I loves her. It's official!

She read the first chapter of the book ("Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair", for those of you not InTheKnow) then proceeded to answer audience questions. That was my favorite part, because that woman can talk! And with the most adorable of southern accents.

Here's a brief bit I recorded while she was talking about how her coworkers (except for Work Jennifer) were in the dark about her book until one accidentally saw a copy on Work Jennifer's desk.



Yeah, she's frickin' adorable, right?!

And here's a picture with the leg warmers she is currently knitting! Hehe ... leg warmers! Too cute!

Oh, by the way, throwing Muggle T2 into a knitting environment was a hoot! To see so many folk knitting in public (gasp!) I believe was a shock to her system. She recovered well ...... although I noticed she didn't even take a second glance at the baskets of yarn laying around. (apparently I have more educating to do with her! ;))

So Crazy Aunt Purl (CAP) signed books afterwards and I managed to get mine signed without making TOO big of a babbling idiot of myself (or maybe I did, but let's just pretend otherwise, shall we!). I mean, I did throw out to her that I was her stalker down in LA that one time at The Stinking Rose. Which, to her credit, she managed to keep from dropping everything and calling for security backup! (perhaps her fine southern upbringing prevented her from doing so??).

But! BUT! I also had a copy of the book from T1 to get signed as well. (T1 now currently living in North Carolina and is HOPEFULLY MOVING BACK SOMEDAY, DAMNIT but sent her book out to me so I could get it signed for her since CAP isn't heading out that way.).

And T1 asked me to show CAP a picture of T1 and Baby Q while CAP was signing her book. (yeah, hello .... as if my idiot babbling wasn't bad enough! ;)). Anyway, CAP was awesome! She's all "oh, we all need to take a group photo with it then!". And so we did!

(Yeah, y'all didn't think I was going to let that one be easily full sized, did ya?!

I mean, first off, anyone standing next to CAP is going to look like a toad because of her gorgeousness. Dem's just the facts.

Secondly, the Rules Of Having Your Picture Taken just go right on out the window whenever anyone points a camera at me!

I generally can pull off Rule #1 (shoulders back, hence boobage out) and Rule #2 (stomach in).

Rule #3 (chin(s) up) is usually a bit more difficult for me, as proven here.

But Rule #4 (arm AWAY from the body) is always, always my downfall. I get so tensed up right before the camera clicks that my arm gets pressed tightly against my body. Which, as y'all know, forces the "bat wing" to spread out to its fullest glory! Sigh. And y'all thought I would learn, after I looked at every single China picture and saw the same thing! (*repeatedly taps forehead with fingers and repeats mantra, "Must remember to keep the arm awayyyyyy from the body! Must remember to keep the arm awayyyyy from the body!!!"*). Seriously, how difficult is that rule?! It's not, right?! But yeah, there's just no hope. I see a camera and I clench everything tighter than coal making a diamond! Damnit!)

But LOOK! Via the wonders of cropping, here's a great picture of CAP holding the picture of T1 and the ultra-adorable Baby Q!

Yay! That, at least, is very, very cute!

So anyway, all in all a fun time! I hope some of y'all get the chance to see her too! She's so adorable that I warned her T2 and I would be in Los Angeles stalking Springsteen on the 29th so she might have to be careful and beat her bushes to ensure that we weren't in there stalking her too. Luckily for her (and me -- I've managed to avoid a police record so far, I don't want to start now!), she said she's in Tennessee! Whew!

Though I forgot to warn her that I'm down there for Christmas too. Hmmmm. :)

In case you are bored at work today.....

Here's a little link to amuse you. Try to see how far you can keep the drunk walking. I've only managed 51 meters so far .... but the afternoon is still young!! ;)

I'm apparently Straight-Brained

The link below takes you to a visual test to determine your right-braininess vs left-braininess. I was surprised that mine defaults to the dancer turning clockwise ... which indicates more right-brained. With a little doing I could get her to switch directions and now I can get her to do it at will. But the first time I look at it she is still turning clockwise. I find that odd. (if you knew me, you would too! I am sooo about the math! :))

Which way is she turning for you? I keep trying to query male coworkers here but they seem too distracted by the outline of her torso to be able to reply coherently! ;)

Here's the link

Ah man, I'm back to bashing!

Dang it! I've been trying to be good, really I have, and have managed to avoid the bashing of some of the craigslist ads lately.

But I made the mistake of doing a search on Craigslist for "funky" because I like to see what unique artwork and/or furniture, etc is out there. That's my kinda style.

But my eyes fell upon the ad title: "Leather skirt w/fringe Plus Size". And I thought ... "plus size"?? ... in a leather skirt?? ... ah, this can't be good. So I took a look at the post.

Y'all, here's the photo of the skirt:

And here is the ad:

I recently purchased this skirt off of eBay and discovered that it's too long for me. The tag says it's a size 30w but I'm a 22/24 and could wear it easily but there is plenty of room. If you're a size 22 - 32, I'm sure it would fit you easily. It's very soft, black leather and in awesome condition. The smell is a little funky but it isn't bad, just needs to be aired out I'd guess. Please let me know if you're interested, there's a lot of skirt here for only $50 and yes, that price is firm.

Not only does is SMELL bad (???) ... but the seller is saying it is TOO LONG! Really? ... too long????? I'm not nearly that big and I wouldn't be caught dead in public with a skirt that short! I'd be arrested for scaring little children. They'd be all "MAMA! MAMA!! There is some fringe covered white dimpled jiggly monsters coming after us!!!!! HELPPPPPP!!!!!!" (It just would NOT be a good look, KnowWhatI'mSayin'?)

Seriously, too long??????????

Good golly, she is a braver woman that I!

Friday Cuteness

I call this one "Hungry, hungry Kit-to"



I get like that with my food too! (heh!)

Catch up!

Okay, first off all y'all AREN'T HELPING with regard to this tattoo thing. ;) I can't envision any tattoo at all looking good on me right now .... but 20 years and 20 pounds from now? ... yeah, just boggles the mind (and not in a good way!!). So if the tattoo ever happens ... it will have to be something very, very significant. And at this point, I got nuthin'! :)

So I had a date Monday night which .... (are you sitting down for this??)... WASN'T HORRIBLE. (I know!). Yep, apparently my standards have been lowered to the point where if I am not trying to gnaw my arm off even once to make my escape during the date, I consider the date a success! Sad really! :) Anyway, we chatted easily for two hours or so and he asked me out again for the weekend. I'll keep y'all posted.

Though actually, the past couple of weeks men have been coming outta the woodwork (when it rains, it pours!) so I'm not sure who realigned the planets, but thank you! (although that young 26 year old who just wanted to be Friends With Benefits ... yeah, didn't need him. Just patted him on his behind and sent him back home to mama. But for the others, thank you). So wouldn't it be a cruel joke that after The Great Dry Spell Of '02, '03, '04 (.... ah, fuck it ... that's just too depressing, let's just call it The Great Dry Spell (TGDS) shall we?...) that I ended up torn between too many great guys at once?? I mean, sure, I'll take it ... don't think I won't ..... but I'm really only looking for one.

Big adventure coming up!!!! You know how my List To-Do includes front row at a Springsteen concert?? Well, T2 and I have tickets in hand and we are flying down to LA to catch the show!! Whoo hooooo!!!!! We have general admission floor seats so we have a CHANCE to get front row! Granted, knowing the fanaticalness (is too a word!) of the LA'ers with regard to their bands, the front row chance may be slim .... but nonetheless, it is a chance! And we are going for it!!! Wish us luck!!! The tickets say "no cameras" and usually I ... uhhh .... might overlook that fact, as y'all know... but I don't think I'm risking it for Springsteen! Nuh-uh, no way! I WANT IN and I WANT FRONT ROW and getting turned away at the door to take the camera back to the car or booted out of the concert entirely is NOT in the game plan!! So though I may not have any pictures, I plan to have stories of touching the greatness that is Springsteen (umm, that sounded dirtier than I intended).

Let's see ... what else?? I CANNOT believe I have not written up the post about the last Daughtry concert I went to. Remind me about that one.

Oh, did just see Lou Diamond Phillips in the theatrical presentation of Camelot!

Yeah, I only snorted a few times while trying to suppress the chuckles when he first broke into song. I behaved myself the rest of the time (well, except for when the cast performed "What Do The Simple Folk Do ". My third grade class performed that song and I couldn't help but bop along to it. Amused my friends but perhaps not so much the rest of the auditorium (oops!)). All in all, mildly entertaining. I think I was spoiled by the quality of the theatrical performances down in Los Angeles .... it just doesn't get much better than Michael Crawford in The Phantom Of The Opera! I mean, LDP did a great job with the character ... but I just kept hearing "bbbbbllaaadada La Bamba" in my head.

Okay, that's it for now. Hope y'all are having a great week!

uh-oh, is this the third sign??

I was browsing the Australian news site today and found an article titled:

"Orang-utan looking for blondes with tattoos"

Things that make you go "Hmmmm". :)

Help! The peer pressure! The peer pressure!!!!

So last week I was flipping channels and stumbled across the new show LA Ink*. Somehow I got sucked in and now I see that the tattooists on the show are just so amazingly artistic that they have actually made me CONSIDER getting a tattoo one day. I mean, these folks will take a photo of your loved one and created this phenomenal portrait tattoo for you! Sheesh, and here I was thinking folks just got butterflies or roses! (yeah, I don't get out much!)

But anyway, if you know me, my considering getting a tattoo has got to seem astounding for several reasons!

First, I hate pain! Tiny needles jabbing into my body for hours on end just doesn't sound like a fun time. Call me crazy!

Second, my weight fluctuates. A tattoo which looks good at one weight ain't gonna look so hot perhaps at another! Just sayin' is all! ;)

And most importantly, I'm commitment phobic. If I won't even commit to what I'm having for dinner tonight, how the heck would I ever be able to commit to a freakin' tattoo. Seriously! :)

Nonetheless, that show got me thinking that I could no longer say, without a doubt, that I will never get a tattoo.

Fast forward to today: Another coworker walks in to my office to say hi and just out of the blue asks me if I know a good local tattooist. HELLO? What an odd question to ask me, one who has NO tattoos and has never even talked about tattoos with her.

I say "no" but suggest she talk to my office mate who has gotten a tattoo locally and likes the artist. So the three of us sit around talking about it for a bit and now for some reason this coworker wants me to go get a tattoo with her. And keeps popping in all day mentioning it. And my office mate isn't helping because he wants us to do it. The pressure people!! Two against one! This ain't right!!! ARGH!

So anyway, that's two mentions of tattoos recently. Some folks say that when something gets thrown at you in "threes" that The Universe is trying to tell you something. Why The Universe would feel that I need a Snoopy tattoo on my butt I'll never know ..... but who am I to question the ways of The Universe. :) So we'll see if this idea of the tattoo keeps getting thrown at me or if this was just a quirky coincidence.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep watching LA Ink. That show rocks! :)

*I'm telling you, it's this bloody dvr. Because of it I now watch every freakin' show out there! Seriously, quiz me. I'll know the show you're talking about! It's crazy, y'all. Send help! :)

Boy, and y'all thought we had an idiot running OUR country!

So the president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, comes to town and causes quite the hubbub. Apparently most Americans aren't so keen on a president believed to support terrorism just roaming and speaking freely about the US. As one might expect.

But Columbia University gave him an invite to speak and I for one was looking forward to what he had to say. I'm weird like that .... I like to hear the other side .... the perspective generally offers SOME sort of new insight. And generally the more sides to a story you hear, the closer to the actual truth you get.

But in this case, I have to disregard everything this man said because he proved himself certifiable. I mean, did y'all hear THIS quote from him when asked to explain the execution of homosexuals in Iran:

"In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country. In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who's told you that we have this."

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! Seriously?!!!!!!!!! Who thinks that way?!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! How do you communicate with that type of idiocracy?!! I mean, that thinking is SOOO far off the beaten path that all the GPS systems in the world couldn't even help! GAH! Where's my wine?!!!!

A Concert-Etiquette Reminder

Y'all, some things just shouldn't HAVE to be said. You know, like don't try doing a backflip while driving your car on the freeway.

Or don't try trimming your toenails using a chainsaw while blindfolded and drunk.

Or how about, don't go without underwear if you've always got paparazzi trying to snap a picture of your hoo-ha.

You know, common sense things.

So when I was at the BB King concert last Thursday, I was kinda shocked when a strange man decided to plop down on the grass really close to our blanket and then proceed to cuddle the feet of my friend. And when she moved hers in shock, he proceeded to cuddle the feet of her husband. What the bloody hell?? Who does that stuff??!!!!

Of couse, I'm just giggling because of the insanity of it all. Plus, ya know, it wasn't my feet! (hehehe)

But really, I don't care HOW big of a foot-fetisher you are ... don't cuddle with stranger's feet without their permission at concerts. I'm just sayin' is all. You need to at least ask first. SHEESH! ;)

On a less admonishing note, the concert was great! Etta James opened. Man, that chicky is a wild thing. Some of her stories had ME blushing. ME!

And BB King, of course, a legend! It was so great to see him! I took a couple of pictures ... they didn't come out too well ... but I'll share anyway.

All in all, a grand ole time. Foot-fetisher and all!

I am perhaps not so smart

So y'all know how I loves me my dvr/tivo, right?! And am now officially spoiled rotten by it?!

Yep, ain't no way around it. Because you KNOW you are spoiled by dvr/tivo when you are driving in your car and try to rewind the radio. Yep. The DJs were talking and then they started laughing. Only I had missed what they said (due to something shiny I can only suppose) so I reached over to try to rewind what they said.

On more than one occasion.

Sigh.

Send help! (Or rewinding live radio! :))

I do dog tricks

No, not ME. I didn't mean that *I* do dog tricks. (Although I do sit and lay down pretty darned good).

But what I meant was, that the doggie on this here website does dog tricks ... at your command! How cute, right?

Give it a go. I've tried "sit", "down", "shake", "roll over", "beg", "bark", and "dead" so far. But my favorite by far is "kiss". Too too cute!

Yep, it's official, I loves him!

There's a new welder in town!

OMG, I have the nicest friends!

So for months I was lusting after a table lamp at one of my favorite home decor shops. Each time I went in I'd ooh and aah over it. But alas, I knew I didn't have a spot for that lamp in my house so I resisted buying it (who knew I had any willpower at all, but there ya go! Now if only I could harness that same willpower to resist, say, donuts!).

Anyway, I went to that store recently to shop that big sale they were having. And lo and behold, I found my beloved lampshade, only sans the lamp base (apparently it had broken). And the shade itself was only $3!!!!! And so, it goes without saying, that I had to have it!

I didn't really know what I could use it for at that point, but I knew down the road there would come something I could attach it to. Maybe even say, a lamp?!!!!

Only I get home and I start eyeing this funky, metal, floor-standing, older, Ikea(?) candle stand that I had. I set the shade on it, leaned it up against the wall (since the shade wouldn't stand on its own), and By George, it looked kinda cute.

So I mentioned my new treasure (my precious, my precious) to my friend T2. She mentioned it to her husband, aka MacGyver, and he said to give it to him that he could probably figure out a way to affix the shade to the candle holder (apparently they were not impressed with my idea of using several sticks of chewed bubble gum!)

Anyway, he takes a look at it, buys an old lamp at a Goodwill so that he can use part of it, buys tools so he can weld, and voila ...... I now have a lamp-shaded candle holder!! And seriously, it is BEAUTIFULLY done! That man rocks!

Take a gander:

Here's the top of the candle holder before it underwent any fixins'. Just an old candle on it, sitting on a spike sitting in the center of the base.

After some welding and a new paint job ... shazam!!! ..... no spike any longer in the center and the two lampshade prong holders (errr, that may not be the official name of those ;)) welded to the base!!!!!!

I was so dang excited after they gave it back to me last night that I ran right out and purchased one of those new-fangled battery-operated flameless candles (I'm thinking a real candle flame would have been perhaps a bad idea so close to my beautiful silky lampshade!).....

.....Popped the shade prong thingamabobs into the shade prong holders ......

.... and VOILA!:

hmm, this looks hella better in person, trust me. You can't even see the candle glow here nor the detail on the lamp shade. Phooey!

Too cute, right!?! Thanks SO much T2 and C! Y'all ROCK!!!!! I'd have no idea what I'd do without you (and this isn't just referring to a lamp-shaded candle holder either!!!). Love ya!

Comfort Food Recipe #1

Okay, on this day of remembrance, a little comfort food never hurts. And I was watching a tivo'd copy of Ellen last night and they made this recipe! This SOO reminds me of the recipes found in the Sweet Potato Queen books (anyone ever read those?? ... those are a HOOT!). Which means that you will gain 5 pounds just READING this! ;)

Here goes:

It's called (ready to gain a pound and a half right here with just the title???):

Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding with Butter Rum Sauce

And it goes a little something like this:

2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts [oops, here's another two pounds gained just with the first ingredient!!]
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)
2 (4.5-ounce) cans fruit cocktail (undrained) [hey look, FRUIT! That makes this healthy, right?!]
2 eggs, beaten
1 (9-ounce) box raisins
1 pinch salt
1 or 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon [or 3 or 4 .... love me the cinnamon!]
Butter Rum Sauce, recipe follows

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Cube donuts into a large bowl. Pour other ingredients on top of donuts and let soak for a few minutes. Mix all ingredients together until donuts have soaked up the liquid as much as possible.
Bake for about 1 hour until center has jelled. Top with Butter Rum Sauce.

Butter Rum Sauce: [mmmmmmmmm]
1 stick butter
1 pound box confectioners' sugar
Rum, to taste
Melt butter and slowly stir in confectioners' sugar. Add rum and heat until bubbly. Pour over each serving of Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding.

Yeah, no fat there! It was funny, because Paula Deen was showcasing the bread pudding portion on the show and was all "the best thing about this recipe is that I added no sugar to it ... which makes it a 'sugar-free recipe'!!". (heh heh).

She also said that she prefers only 14 donuts to the two dozen because she likes the finished bread pudding to be a bit moister. Which sounds like a grand plan to me because then that leaves you 10 donuts to bide the time with while the bread pudding is baking! (what??) :)

If anyone tries it out, let me know what you think. I'm probably going to have to hold off on sampling this for a bit, I'm pretty sure my arteries have hardened just with my having typed up the recipe! :)

The Chronicles of Life and ......... hey, where is everybody???

So Friday at lunch I'm listening to radio station 105.1 The Buzz when they announce that they will be at a new-fangled outdoor shopping mall (Bridgeport, to those in the know) between 3:30 and 5:30 that afternoon giving out tickets to that night's Justin Timberlake concert. They also mention that the band Good Charlotte, who was set to open for Justin that night, would be there sometime during that time singing a few songs and signing autographs.

Now, being that I live the lifestyle of the Not-Quite Rich and the Not-So Famous meant that I was stuck at work and couldn't leave to be there right at 3:30pm. Blasted! Nonetheless, I did manage to high-tail right over after work and arrived at 4:30!

I walk in wondering where all the hubbub was at. I expected impossible parking (found one right off) and hordes of people. I mean, seriously, Good Charlotte is a popular band with great music and a number of cds ..... where the f@ck were the shocked-yet-delighted masses of fans pulling out their hair and throwing their panties??

'Twas crazy. Not a pierced nor tattooed fan in sight!

(*insert sound of crickets chirping*)

After much wandering around and querying of the "Who is Good Charlotte???" Folks, I finally found someone who said that the band might possibly be across the street at the new section of the Bridgeport Village! Criminey!

I jog on over and arrive to the sounds of Good Charlotte music!! Yippee Skippee!! And better yet, there were MAYBE 100 people there watching the show. MAYBE!

Without time to question why so few people were there, I join the back of the pack watching the performance and video'd this for all y'all:



How cool, right?! I was sooo jazzed!

Now normally I would have more video for you, but as un-luck would have it, that was the only song I got to see! Right after recording this came the sounds of "thank you and good night!". I was all "seriously"??? (*insert sound of much foot stomping and cussing*)

Sigh.

Still happy I took the time to go though. I was going to hang out to catch autographs but being that I didn't have time to swing by my place to grab their cds beforehand I had bupkus for them to sign (just ANY piece of paper isn't my thing). Plus without a wing-man, I'm pretty wussie when it comes to asking for pictures with the band members. Of course, my internal rationalization wasn't that I was a "wuss" per se, but that I needed to be across rush-houred town to meet up with a friend by 5:45. So, ya know, otherwise I would certainly have waited in line with my Big-Girl Pants on and asked for a picture.

Uh-huh. (If y'all believe that then I've got a bridge to sell ya!)

Instead I have the following two pics. The first while the band was still on stage, and the second as they were walking into the Verizon store to sign autographs. (seriously, they are there ..... it's just a "Where's Waldo")

Regardless, yay for Good Charlotte! Very cool of you guys to take the time to perform before the show for this promotional event. I'm not sure where all your fans were though .... I'm still baffled by that. Perhaps your song title "The Young And The Hopeless" is more fitting than y'all thought. ;)