Friday, May 19, 2006

Back by popular demand.....

Well, actually, back by the grumblings of only one (very occasional but still loyal) blog reader (hi B!) who says he is tired of entries about knitting and/or cats! (as well as the blog's pink background, but we won't go there! ;))

So, just for you B, a little Craigslist personal ad bashing!

Hello, my name is not important… - 39 [perfect! You show much potential ... let's read!]

Reply to:
Date: 2006-05-19, 5:38AM PDT

I’ll get rite to the point. I am well groomed and good looking! And smoke!........

[blah, blah, blah! I just liked that "And smoke!" had an exclamation point like that was one of his best selling points! hehe]

Are you the one that can survive my massive checklist? - 29 [gee, and folks think I'm picky! Take a gander at this!]

Reply to:
Date: 2006-05-19, 5:16AM PDT

Here's what I'm looking for. Does this sound like you?

Cute upturned nose
Artistic flair
Joie de vie
Rolls your R's
Likes holding hands
Never played backgammon
Your mom was a novelist and amateur archaeologist in Fiji
Your dad was a Moroccan ambassador
Allergic to cats
Five feet four inches tall
Doesn't like pizza or biscotti
You're good at fixing things up (I think that's oh-so-sexy)
You're strong and capable of playing the princess in shining armor
You can climb trees
Wicked grin
A high calorie skin color (honey, chocolate, salt water taffy)
You don't eat marmite before kissing
Falls for wimpy absentminded guys
Intelligent and easygoing
Looks surprisingly good in a mumu
Born in the sign of Libra, Nautilus, or the Dragon
Not afraid to talk about difficult subjects
You're proud to be a primate
You have a great sense of humor
Have the ability to enjoy acting stupid without getting drunk
Comfortable in high society
Uses the Mona Lisa approach to criticism
Adept at peeling grapes
Good at singing
Likes to make up stories
Innie belly button
Can walk like a lioness when you feel like it
Too cool to use craigslist

[damn, now if only I didn't eat marmite before kissing! Ah well]

hey - 41

Reply to:
Date: 2006-05-19, 3:46AM PDT

I m sitting here with my cat Zeta on my lap, thinking maybe there are things to make me more complete.
Quick fuck, small talk, in and out, is that all in life ? Pehaps not. Or is it all cash? I've got enough cash to cash you out. Lets hip those hipsters out.

[huh?????? I'm going to need the Cliff Notes on that ad I think!]

Analingus... – 40 [enough said. Not even reading that one. NEXT!]

looking for a lady that dosent mind diapers - 28 [as in, "wearing them". NEXT!]

never had sex look to start - 20

Reply to:
Date: 2006-05-18, 9:05PM PDT

all girls all ages

[uh yeah. If y'all believe this guy has never had sex, I’ve got a bridge to sell you! ;)]

Loser #1, Loser #2, and Loser #3!

Old, decrepit, retired
This will not work! - 27

[love the positive thinking there, guys!]

And last but not least, I was going to bash this ad.......

In town for a few days. Hard body and very attractive - 29

Reply to:
Date: 2006-05-18, 10:03PM PDT

I'm just looking to go out and have some fun bar hopping or something. I'm 6' 195lbs and very nice. Just want to go out and have fun after working all day. I come to PDX quite a bit. Nice weather today.


....until I saw the picture!

Hot damn, is all I'm sayin'! Now excuse me while I go work on composing a reply email!! ;)


T1 said... think that's his real picture? Or just a copy of the one in his head?

Kat said...

either way, I'm just happy he could upload it to Craigslist!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

OH, YEAH! Sign me up to do some shots off that six pack! He's a fine specimen to look at on this gloomy Friday afternoon! Now, go set up a datewith him and go incognito and see if he's really for real!!! LOL : )

Rick said...

I don't think that last one was what "B" had in mind. Pretty hilarious post though. Thanks. You sure you can't do something about the pink?

Sis said...

I like the way he says "bar hopping or something." I'll take the "or something" please! Sign me up.

P.S. You couldn't give us a little bigger picture? Hee, hee.

goodgirl036 said...

I am not buying it. But maybe you should upload a hot pic and see what kind of responses you get. Not that you need one...I say 50, balding, with a pot belly and no teeth, but if you do meet him and he looks like that...take lots and lots of pics : )

B said...

lol Yeah thanks Kat, teach me to complain.