Monday, January 09, 2006

Have I mentioned I hate making phone calls?

Yep, rank Making Phone Calls right up there with Changing Light Bulbs on my I Don't Wanna Do It List.

I've simply never been all that much of a phone person. Even with people I know and love. Ask my family .... who rarely, if ever, gets phone calls from me. And it's not because I don't love them or want to be closer to them or want to know what's going on with them. I simply don't like picking up the phone to call someone and Just Chat. Maybe because I've got commitment issues and calling "just to chat" entails more than a 5 minute commitment. I don't know. :) All I know is ... thank goodness most people I want to communicate with are email savvy. Because email I can do!

And yes, there are exceptions to the phone rule. Buck, for one. I'm comfortable enough with Buck that I can pick up the phone whenever and call him. Sometimes the conversations are long ... sometimes short. Sometimes there's a point or agenda to them ..... sometimes we're just keeping each other company while watching the same television program or movie. I love that. That's a good level of comfort.

And I can think of several good friends of mine that I'm certainly okay chatting with on the phone. Especially if I don't see them all the time and they're slackers on email (not mentioning any names here, T2! ;)) So to hear what's been going on with them via phone is a good thing in those cases. AT least until I can train them better on those email responses and/or am able to schedule more in-person time with them, that is! ;)

And I'm good with those quick phone calls to people I know too ... you know, to indicate which movie theater we should meet at, or restaurant, or to say that Fabric Depot is having a huge yarn sale. Not a problem. Quick and easy ... on and off the phone... all good. No stress.

But THEN there are those phone calls that are requested to be made which I know are going to be long and p-a-i-n-f-u-l. And which will completely stress me out. And for which I need time to gear up for before actually picking up the phone to place the call. Ya know, like those phones calls to a complete stranger .... one who is going to want to Just Chat with me to get to know me better. Say, for instance, with a guy I've been communicating with through an online dating site.

These are the phone calls I try to avoid because they just make me uncomfortable and highly stressed before the phone call and then I feel trapped during the phone call. And I do manage to avoid them a great deal ... instead requesting to meet in person for a quick cup of coffee or something*.

But there are those times, like this weekend, for instance, where meeting in person in the near future simply isn't feasible due to scheduling conflicts and so I have to put on my Big Girl Pants and agree to a Chat On The Phone. (*insert hissy fit*)

Take, for instance, this guy I will call "Daniel". "Daniel" and I have been communicating via the internet fairly superficially for a couple of weeks and decided it was time to meet. He wanted to schedule a whole "tennis match and then a show afterwards" kind of date. I wanted to meet for a brief cup of coffee (please see The Date From Hell for my reasoning behind this). I won. But his work schedule is such that the only times we would ever be able to meet would be on weekends. I said I was busy on Sunday but how about some time on Saturday. He couldn't do Saturday but suggested he could call that day instead. (*insert heavy sigh here*). Since I knew this would then have to be dragged out another entire week to possibly schedule another meet next weekend ..... and because I'd rather find out sooner than later if he and I could build any kind of relationship (friends or whathaveya) ... I said okay to the phone call. Very grudgingly, granted .... but still ... I decided to go with it.

So I'm home all day Saturday up til afternoon and no phone call. I finally go out to run errands in preparation for that evening's festivities only to find out that he had called while I was gone. No time to make the call at that point (remember, I need "gearing up" time as well as "chat" time) because I had to dash out the door for my shindig that evening. I arrived home too late to call.

Up the next morning and checked email. He had left an email Saturday simply saying that he had left me a voicemail (duh?). I replied and thanked him for the call, said Saturday had turned out to be busy and that I would try to call him back that (Sunday) evening if I got home early enough. Granted, I could have called right then .... but I can't see calling someone I don't know early on a Sunday morning. Most folks never before 9 or 9:30am .... a complete stranger whom I know works swing shift and so probably has a Later Morning Sleep Schedule than most ... ain't gonna call before 10 -10:30. By then I was frantically finishing off a pair of baby booties that needed to be gifted that day and running out to Target for wrapping. Then straight to T1's for a day of errands, baby bootie delivering and to the Portland Art Museum. By the time I got home that evening ... he had already left another voicemail. Which was weird ... being that I said I would call him.

But anyway, so I ate dinner and then took a bit of time to do my "gearing up" for the phone call ..... and so I didn't call til 8pm. He answers the phone with his mouth full of food. I'm thinking this isn't starting well but I identify myself anyway. Before I can check to see if I've called at a bad time ... he says "Oh, Kat from blah,blah,blah ... I was about ready to give up on you!". Which threw me for a loop ... because hello?.... he had just called the day before! It's not as if it's been two weeks or anything! Plus, I had left him an email that morning indicating I would be gone all day and would call him that evening if I got the chance. So anyway, I apologize and say I've been busy and we conversed. But about 3 minutes into it ..... I got tired of listening to him continue to eat and chew in my ear LOUDLY and so inquired (nicely, mind you) "if perhaps I called at a bad time?". He said "I'm eating dinner now can I call you back in a few?". I said "sure" ... he said "will you be up awhile then?" to which I thought "well, that's weird .. it's only 8pm now ... how frickin' long is your dinner going to be??". But anyway, I simply said "sure" and happily hung up.

Did I GET a return phone call from him last night, folks?!! No, I did not.

So I get on that site about 11pm last night and check my messages. I was looking to see if he emailed instead of calling but found the only email I had from him was one he apparently emailed about 10 minutes before I had made the phone call:
"Well I have called twice now....I don't want to call a third time. I don't want to be a pest."
To which I didn't reply. Because the phone call had taken place after that. But I thought it would be interesting to see if I received any other message from him ... ya know, after our phone conversation in which he said he would call me back.

So I check messages this morning and had the following email from him:
"I am sorry I didn't call you back, but I guess it was my turn to get busy!"
Uhhhhh, is it just me ..... or should I be running hard and fast from this guy? I'm certainly thinking so. I mean, I know I drag my feet over making these kinds of phone calls ..... but hello? .... can I help it if I'm not sitting on my ass all day next to the phone just waiting for opportunities to talk on it? I don't think so. If the f'er knew me, he'da been honored that he got a Next Day Call Back. Cuz trust me .... there are some people that don't. Email, yes ... phone calls, not so much. And, in this case, it wasn't like I was just sitting around at home not calling him. I was out. SHEESH!

At this point I am no longer interested in getting to know him better. But the question is ... should I bother replying?

So there ya have it ...... my latest dating woes. More to tell tomorrow probably because I'm actually MEETING one (a different one) tonight for a cup of joe. This guy already has earned himself some brownie points though.... he hasn't tried to talk to me on the phone! Whoo hoooo! I love him already! :)

*Yes, folks ... you've heard that correctly ... I would rather meet a stranger in person to chat than have to try to chat with them via the phone. I am quirky like that.


d said...

Well, far be it for me to *know* anything on these subjects, but if you're that turned off to the guy already, it's going to be that much more painful to continue. And the guy does sound odd.

But then, I'm the guy who knows jack. LOL


T1 said...

I figure if he's that much of a jackass already...why stick around to see if there's more jackass to be had.

Because now he's just being petty.

I wouldn't bother replying. If he ever emails or calls again...just say your really busy.

Sis said...

boo hoo. i am on the black list.

Kat said... But Sis ... at least I THINK about calling you. Even without being prompted first by a phone message requesting it. I should get at least half credit for the thought, right?? :)

T1 - he DID email again. Wants to know when a good time WOULD be to call me. Uh, when hell freezes over?

Anonymous said...

So, how did the blind date go with the second contender?!!!

Can't wait to hear your funny comments on it! : )

Kat said...

Thanks for the interest, Anon ... but no blog fodder on Contender #2. Yet. :)

He's quite the character and is entertaining ... but? So we'll see ... we're giving it another go tonight.

I'll keep y'all posted one way or the other! :)