Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Stalker Update

Okay, for those of you that commented and/or emailed me (thank you) regarding yesterday's post ... here's the update:

He emailed me yesterday requesting the best time to phone me. But by then I was no longer interested in pursuing anything and so responded via email that I didn't think we were a match and wished him luck with his search.

Then I go home for the day figuring that’s that. I head out for the evening and check email this morning only to find that he had emailed THREE TIMES IN A MATTER OF HOURS LAST NIGHT.

The first one inquired why I decided to "end" it. The second tried to convince me to continue it. The third one a couple of hours later must then have assumed I was simply sitting there at the keyboard the whole night refusing to answer because he admitted defeat.

Uh yeah. HELLO?.... sometimes people are not at home by their computers and home phones and so will not be responding immediately!! Just sayin'!

Bizarre to anyone else?

Anyway, again thanks to the comments and emails with the wonderful advice. I appreciate you taking the time to give me your words of wisdom.

And if y'all thought my Phone Phobia was over the top before .... it just quadrupled!!! :)


T1 said...

Eww! Yuck! No more freaks! No more freaks!

Sis said...

All I have to say is good thing you found out now before actually meeting him.

Mark and MeLissa said...

Ya know, this is why I stopped doing the internet dating thing. Of course, that was before that whole eHarmony thing came up...I might have tried that one. It sounds halfway decent, but I'm sure there are freaks there, too. I also like the sound of that "It's Just Lunch" service - that sounds like a great way to meet people and not have to give personal info unless you're feeling safe.

This is going to be a long comment, but just in case you have any readers who might also like the tips I'm going to give some pointers from back in my dating days. First off, although the internet has worked for some people, I have found that the best way to make "friends" is still going to the gym, church, or participating in group activities that you enjoy (I took tennis lessons once, for example), etc.

If you still wish to continue the internet thing (which there's nothing at all wrong with - I met some pretty nice guys that way actually, but none of them were right for me) here are my rules (from back in the day!):

First, if any guy suggests telephone calls, I called him (after blocking my number appropriately). I never gave out my phone number until I was absolutely certain that there was absolutely no possiblity that this one was nuts...and then I still was pretty stingy when it came to the number...same goes for bars - you give me your phone number cuz mine is special. Gotta protect yourself so if you do give the number, give the cell number - you can't trace that to an address.

Another bit of my strategy - play a completely self-assure and completely celibate till marriage chickie. It weeds out a few of the people who are just looking for a "hook up."

Second rule: If anybody wished to meet me, I made sure that they knew that I had just a little bit of time (say 20 min to 1/2 an hour) on such and such a day at such and such a location (usually near my office) if they wanted to fit themselves in. If they agreed and I enjoyed their company, I would say that I was going to see if I could get out of the "other thing" I was supposed to attend to later...go someplace, pretend to make a phone call and voila..you're free.

Third and final rule: Always trust your instincts and remember you owe these guys nothing. If you feel unsafe or like somebody's just not what you want, get yourself out no matter what!

Just a few tips from somebody who has enjoyed a few dates due to the internet and also had the displeasure of (early in the process) having somebody stalk me and frighten the crap out of me enough that I was ridiculously cautious, but since when is that a bad thing with all the nuts in the world? :)

Good luck with the next one! I'm sure things will go better soon!