Friday, December 08, 2006

There are "fallacies" and then there are "phallicies"

And I do believe I've been surrounded by "phallicies" lately.

Take for instance this second amaryllis bulb I planted. I was going to give it away as a gift but realized I didn't feel right giving away something so pornographic to the intended recipient.

Especially now that the amaryllis has outgrown its "cramped in a box for too long" curve and is now standing fully erect (ahem).

I am, however, apparently okay with giving away porn to children. Maybe because I don't mean to.

For instance, look at this:

This is supposed to be a stuffed sock dog.

click to enlarge ... that toe line at the top just slays me!

No, really. A dog.

(it's okay, I'll wait until you finish laughing)

[*insert jeopardy timer music*]

(Done? Need a Kleenex to wipe the laughter tears? It is a knee-slapper, I'll give you that.)

I was minding my own business, happily cutting, sewing, and stuffing along just as the pattern called for ... and ended up with this spotted dick. (not to be confused with Spotted Dick).

And I know ... I know ... I hear all you potential recipients out there muttering "for the love of jebus, PLEASE don't let her be making that for my child."

Rest assured, folks, rest assured ... only one of you gets the "honor" of owning your very own Spotted Dick By Kat for your beloved child.

And that unlucky .... errr, lucky... person would be .... (*insert drum roll*) .......... T1!

HAHAHA. Sorry, chica. It's supposed to be a DOG! I SWEAR! I'm going to try sewing ears, eyes and a tail on it in the hopes that it magically transforms into a mini-Penny ..... but please don't call the cops on me if instead you find that I've shipped porn across state lines to a minor.

My intentions were good .... really! :)


Bobbi said...

Ok, I'm still laughing, your timer wasn't long enough!

Stick said...

Tears are streaming from my eyes! HILARIOUS! It's a spotted weiner... dog. HA HA HA HA

goodgirl036 said...

he he he I think you could sell these...LOL