And I'm sure I'm going to hell for saying that. :)
But it's true.
My friend S and I took a trip out to Roloff Farms on Saturday. Do y'all know who the Roloffs are? They have that TLC (The Learning Channel) reality show called "Little People, Big World".
For those of you unfamiliar, the Roloffs are a family consisting of Little People and Average Sized People. Matt (the dad) and Amy (the mom) are Little People. There are four kids. Jeremy and Zach .....16 year old twin boys. (Jeremy is Average Sized and Zach is a Little Person.) Molly the younger daughter (Average Sized) and Jacob the youngest son (also Average Sized).
Anyway, the family is local to Portland, Oregon. And each October I guess they open their farm up for the public to come out and check out their big Pumpkin Patch.
Here's a picture of Amy. S and I took a picture with her but because when I looked at the picture I Also Saw Big* People (that would be me) ... I'm leaving you with nothing but Amy ....and my shoulder (on the left side) for scale! ;) (love you, Photo Editing Software!)
*note to self .... taking a picture with a Little Person and with a guy who weighs maybe 100 pounds soaking wet is NOT good for ones self-esteem. Just sayin'! :)
Here's a sign on the property warning that you may be captured on camera. I did see them filming Matt but that was in the distance and I made sure to stay out of camera range. (who me? Camera-phobic?? :))
And you can also tour other areas on the farm where Matt has spent years building things such as a Western Town.....
a barrel of bras?? :)
....a pirate ship, ......
arrrrrrr!
....a three story tree house....
first two levels
............... which no self-respecting bigger,older woman should try climbing (especially trying to hold the purse in one hand) ... just sayin'.......
The Rope Ladder of PleaseGodDon'tLetAnyoneBeVideoingThis!!!
...... and a castle!
I'm tellin' ya ... this place is a kid's paradise! Pretty awesome!
They also had a tractor-pulled hayride (that's Zach driving the tractor)....
.... and a Pumpkin Catapult.
The catapult was awesome! Those pumpkins went a-flyin'! Reminded me of that Northern Exposure episode where they catapulted that body (does anyone remember that show?!! I'm datin' myself, aren't I?? :))
[Bad news on the catapult though. I heard this morning that there was an accident with it later that day and the youngest son Jacob and another gentleman (perhaps the one pictured here?) were seriously injured. So I'm sending good thoughts that they get released from the hospital soon and all is well.]
And in the western town, lo and behold, I spotted yarn!!! So I HAD TO stop and checked it out of course!
Little did I know that this lady spinning the wool is Matt's mom. So we stopped and chatted with her and Jeremy (also pictured) for awhile. (Jeremy, btw, is going to be quite The Lady Killer. Mark my word, peeps .... there will be posters of him plastered to many a teenage girl's bedroom walls. I know these things! ;))
Anyway, I was asking about the filming and Matt's mom said that the crew is there 10 hours a day, 5 days a week!!!! Holy Cow!!!!! But Jeremy interjected that if the family really wants a day off that they can request one. Or if a special event is going on, that the crew may film a little of it but then leave to give the family some privacy.
Also, Jeremy was saying that he wanted viewers to focus on the music that TLC lays down on top of the film. He said it is interesting how the music can really intensify what is just a normal sibling squabble or whathaveya.
AND ... they were talking about the amount of email that they get. Matt's mom said that Matt gets a new email every four seconds (I think) and Jeremy said he gets approximately two a minute! YIKES! And this is a show that is not a big hit or anything (in fact, I'm guessin' most of you have never seen it.) Can you imagine how it must be for actors in shows or movies which are hugely popular!?! That would be insane!
Anyway, they were all really down to earth. And all very sweet. So check out the show if you get the chance. And send best wishes for the two injured on Saturday.
[update 10/31/2006 2:35 PM: Looks like The Oregonian posted an article about this incident with the pumpkin catapult. Plus some other interesting tidbits on disgruntled neighbors and celebrity stalkers]
So I found myself on an online Australian news site yesterday (oddly, I don't recall how I got there .... send mental help!) and became transfixed by some of their headlines.
For instance, for this first one I thought that perhaps the Riot Minister literally fell on a sword and wondered how the hell he did that. Was it an accident? Was it on purpose?
AND with the Frosting Malfunction! (HEY! It could happen two weeks in a row! Ya-huh! Ya-HUHHHH! ;))
Anyway, I kinda cheated with regard to the frosting this week. I mean, my intentions were good, don't think they weren't ... but things just sorta well .... happened.
Like with my first batch of frosting that I was going to use to frost the cake. I tried using half a stick of butter instead of just straight shortening. But, APPARENTLY, butter needs to be completely softened before trying to whip it up with other ingredients. Else you get little tiny bits of non-blended butter in your icing (who knew??? :)). So Little Butter Bitted Frosting combined with having to try icing the cake using a butter knife (could NOT find my spatula for the life of me!) equates to a very crummily (and quite "crumbily") frosted cake.
So.
That meant I had to make TWO MORE batches of frosting ... STILL. AND again ice the cake.
Which did not make Kat a happy Cake Decorator. (especially when pms'ing. (yes, STILL!))
So I figured "screw that!" ... I'll just buy a can of Wilton's ready made frosting ... ice the cake with that ... then only have to make ONE other batch to take to class for the actual Decorating Of The Cake.
So I did.
Which is all good (especially having found the spatula the next morning (IN PLAIN SIGHT, mind you!)) except that the canned frosting does not do that Magical Hardening Thingamabob which makes De-Wrinkling The Iced Cake a breeze. The frosting was mega-soft (fairly yummy though). So the cake was iced with many wrinkles and even some crumbs.
Luckily, The PMS kept me from caring! ;)
BUT THEN, The PMS also kept me from reading the list of which types of frosting we needed to bring to class. I thought "medium consistency".
I thought wrong.
Hence the frosting was veddy, veddy soft and the petals of my roses all kinda globbed all over each other during The Making Of The Frosting Roses in class.
And so we got this, as my last cake of Wilton's Cake Decorating Class - Course #1*!
Not The Best ...(I CAN do better) ... but still quite yummy. And that's REALLY the important part, right??! :)
*of which I am an Official Graduate .... certificate and all! Thankyouverymuch! :)!
Still playing with the templates. Just not finding anything I like. I'll settle on something at some point! I swear!
But must leave my office right now. The fire alarms have been going off (man, it takes you RIGHT back to grade school and everyone lining up to exit the building for all those fire drills!). Anyway, I hear there is no REAL fire (just smoke) in the office on our floor so our company has decided not to leave. So I've just sat here typing away while the alarms have blared.
BUT.
Someone just announced that the fire department has arrrived!
That's right ..... fire alarm blaring?! Smoke billowing about?? I ain't leaving.
But what's that?? ... did I hear you say that there are firemen wandering about out there??! Okay, okay ... twist my arm, would ya?! I'll go! SHEESH!
It's a miracle!!! But I DO believe the changeover to the new Blogger occurred without loss of life or limb. Or , perhaps more importantly, without loss of blog posts! :)
I am digging the new Blogger. Some great features which make adding/editing features in the template pretty dang snazzy! A few quirks I've found that I'd like to find solutions for ......But I've done enough for the day.
May make some other adjustments as the week progresses, with regard to color and categories and whatnot.
But in the meantime, feel free to surf-away .... while at work even!!!! :)
I see that Blogger has a new beta site which offers up more features! (like categorizing! WHOO HOOOO!).
So, if I want to switch mine over.
However .... (isn't there always a "however"!!! :)) .... when I looked into it a couple of evenings ago, Blogger threw up all kinds of "are you sure you want to do this?! No, no ... REALLY ... are you SURE????" messages .... so I've the feeling it may not be as easy as one may like. AND .. all the warnings seem to indicate that once I click 'yes' ... ain't no going back.
Soooo ... I'd like to say it's been nice knowing you all ................. hehehe. No, no .... I WILL still have a site come Monday. (*fingers and toes crossed*).
BUT ... I just wanted to give y'all a heads up JUST IN CASE! (oh me of little faith! ;)).
Also, they have new templates to choose from. And since I've been getting complaints ... errr, HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS! ;) ... from folks who say that the bright pink background on my site makes it difficult for them to surreptitiously surf at work .... I may change that out as well.
So here's hoping that:
A) I have time to work on it this weekend B) all my past entries transfer over (please, Blogger-Gods, don't lose my stuff!) [this one really is BY FAR the most important] C) it looks all nice and pretty when I'm done (I think I tried changing the template once before and all the fonts and such went cockeyed! OY!) D) they have the categorizing working! (can't wait! I will have a Knitting one, a Craigslist Bashing one, a Cake Decorating one, a Concert Roundup one, a Travel one, a Dating Sucks one .... and? and? and? (whoo hooo!!!!!!))
So wish me luck!!! :) And I hope to catch y'all on the flip side!
..... there be knittin' going on! (HOLY COW, right?!)
But yes, folks! There has been KNITTING! Whodathunkit?
Here is a fun little scarf I knit up real quick for a friend's daughter. I used Fun Fur Stripes yarn and held two pieces together (each starting on a different color stripe) for the funky, fuzzy effect.
I also made a similar funky scarf for my niece's birthday bunny which I finally* finished.
Well, I say "finished" but OBVIOUSLY I still need to stitch in the eyes and nose. (Hmmmmm. Perhaps I should be calling this her 'Early Christmas Present' what with it already being several weeks late for her birthday (oops ... bad aunt!) and ..... even if/when I finish the bunny face ... who KNOWS when I'll actually get it mailed! Yeah, yeah ... an "early Christmas present" .... that's the ticket!! :) (sorry, little K!))
Speaking of Fun Fur, folks! Michaels is having a mega sale on it this week! Only $2 a skein! So if you like to add in some Fun Fur (or many other kinds of fun, cheap yarn) every once in awhile .... run-DON'T WALK to your nearest Michaels! I wouldn't be surprised if the sale ends Saturday! Just sayin' is all!
*please remind me that when I do these bunnies using DPNs instead of circular needles that I have to adjust which needle I start the head on by 1. Because this is the SECOND time now that I've gotten to the top of the head only to realize that it is 1/4 off! ARGH! So I have to frog the head and do it again. This is why this bunny is (super) late .... I hate redoing things (which also explains why it took me several weeks to repaint my bedroom (the color didn't come out right the first time)! I HATE ME THE REDO!)
So I know I was bitchin' a bit the other day about poor customer service because I was trapped in the bowels of the Whole Foods parking garage for hours*! But call me picky, call me 'The Customer Service Nazi', call me pms'ing ;), WHATEVER .... but TOO much customer service can equate to poor customer service as well.
How's that, you ask?
Well, let me explain about my jaunt to the Miller Paint store.
I love me the Miller Paint store, don't get me wrong. They make me oh-so-happy with their huge display of Devine Paint colors, my all-time favorite paint brand. And the workerbees there are always helpful and cheery enough as well.
But Miller has this policy of physically carrying out the order to the customer's car for them. Always. Which, when you've got two or more gallons of paint to lug out to your car, can be MUCH appreciated, don't get me wrong. Even say, one gallon of paint and maybe a couple of paint rollers.
But y'all, my purchase this week was THIS:
That's right. I had a whopping THREE four-ounce packets of sample paint. All three I can easily scoop up in my hand and shove into my purse. I don't NEED (nor want) that order carried out to my car for me. I feel like an idiot. And hate the pressure of making small talk along the way.
So when Miller Workerbee (MW) was finishing ringing me up at the register, I plotted to thwart the He Will Carry It For Me plan by grabbing up these packets before he had the chance. But these MWs are wiley creatures, don't think they aren't, and seem to be on-guard for those of us who attempt to grab our order and leave. Truly, their timing is impeccable. Because just as I was handed my receipt signaling the end of the transaction, and just as I reached simultaneously with my other hand to grab at my sample packets, MW deftly (and with lightening speed, I might add) grabbed them first and started heading around the counter and to the door.
And this guy was tall. So I practically had to jog to keep up with him. He who KNEW I preferred to carry my own because he kept rebuffing (in a very polite manner, and always with a smile) any and all attempts for me to gain custody of these packets and go.
I felt like I was a kid in grade school being picked on by the school bully. Or, errr, being that I don't recall ever being picked on by a school bully, let's go with being picked on by older siblings (you know who you are!). Ya know, the older and taller sisters who would grab something of yours and hold it over your head as you made vain leaps at it, always ending 6 inches too low because you weren't quite as tall as them yet?
But I swear no polite attempt from me was getting me those sample packets before we were carside. None whatsoever.
Because I traipsed after him, occasionally reaching for the packets while vainly interjecting, "okay, thank you so much, I've got it from here". "Yes, the rain HAS been shocking ... thank you so much, I can take it from here...".
At the end of the counter, I tried.
When we reached the door, I tried.
To no avail.
Until finally, head hung in defeat, I just trudged after him til we reached my car, then stood, head still hanging, with arm outstretched, for the Transfer of The Paint Order.
Sigh.
Y'all. Seriously. It was THREE FRICKIN' LITTLE PACKETS OF PAINT!!
Don't get me wrong. I think it is honorable that you, Oh Paint Which Is Miller, strive to achieve excellent customer service by going above and beyond what other paint stores will do for you. But really. Can't we just carry out our own order if that's what makes us happy??? Perhaps a little flexibility in this policy is in order?
Because I know that I would certainly appreciate the Carry My Own option. And I'm guessin' there are many a burly men who would feel the same way. Just sayin'.
[End of rant**]
*FINE! It was only like 10 minutes. But is SEEMED like hours!!! **hmmm, I'm thinkin' maybe I should go scrounge up some chocolate to counter these pms "everyone SUCKS" thoughts! Whatdaya think?! :)]
This week we learned how to create The Shell (y'all will recognize it when you see the edging on my cake this week), the second part of how to create the classic Icing Rose (the final part we learn next class. So stay tuned next week for a beautifully rose covered cake!!! (heh heh)), and a clown.
What's that?... a CLOWN you say?! Yep, a clown.
Kinda like this ... only with a plastic head you can purchase from the craft store.
And because I wasn't feeling a Clown Cake, when my Clown Attempts turned out to be beautifully melted Clown Puddles due to melty frosting, I decided "SCREW IT! I don't want no stinkin' clown ANYWAY!!"!
So I went with beautifully Melted Colored Dots instead ... because it's MY cake ... and I love me the dots! :)
I say "baitless fishing" because this cat toy .... errr, FISHING POLE ...USED to have many feathers attached to it. Now ... nary a one.
I'd say it was The Mystery of The Century .... but I'd be lying.
Missing feathers* .... Many kitty teeth marks. Hmmmm. Should we call in CSI??
Now y'all, just for the record, I was GOING to throw this Now Ghetto Cat Toy out. But Miss Emma ... she LOVES it. She wants to pet it and love it and hug on it and "tell me the story about the rabbits, George" on it. So I didn't have the heart to throw it out. Sigh.
*though where the feathers ARE IS a mystery. Though I'm thinkin' one I would rather not ponder too much. If'n you know what I mean!
So I went to a Whole Foods store downtown at lunch yesterday.
Well, wait....that's kinda misleading. I ACTUALLY ran an errand to the downtown Powell's Books at lunch. But PARKED in a parking lot beneath the Whole Foods store which was reserved for Whole Foods customers. I mean, Powell's also has a parking structure but it is truly a Death Trap. Or at least a Dented Car Trap. (trust me on this ... even a Powell's employee I was chatting with then was saying he only risked parking in it once ... and has now resorted to riding his bike to work.)
And just so y'all know, I TRIED for street parking but HELLO .... downtown street parking at noon? ... what are the chances?? And I know, I know, I know ..... bad to be parking somewhere without being a customer. So let it be known that on the way back THROUGH the Whole Foods store, I did purchase something. Because I DID need a box of Ginger Snaps. (Or I wanted my parking ticket validated. Whatever. (Semantics, I say! ;)))
The bottom line is .... around 12:35pm I and my car found ourselves waiting in line to pay the attendant to exit the Whole Foods underground parking structure.
Here's the scene:
There are three parking gates (you know what I'm talking about, with the arm blocking the path keeping cars from entering or exiting). The parking gate on the far left is for cars entering the structure and the two other ones are for cars leaving. I was in the right-most lane which, unbeknownst to me...having never parked there before, was the outgoing lane for non-validated parking tickets only. The center lane (ie. the lane to my left) was for everyone who had their tickets validated (oops). But I had a car behind me by the time I saw the sign and was stuck. Ah well.
So anyway, I'm sitting behind one car who is paying with Tollmaster Lady #1. They are taking FOREVER. Tollmaster Lady #1 is looking kinda flustered and has a flurry of button pushing activity going on. She has a Tollmaster Lady #2 crammed in the booth with her who is also looking concerned as TL#1 continues with the flustering (hey, I can make up words if I want to*! It is MY blog!)
So I look over at the other outgoing lane to see if that lane is moving faster. But they've got about FIVE cars lined up in that lane and the driver of the first car is actually out of her car trying to get her ticket to work in that lane's automated ticket reader (no Tollmasters manning that booth). A driver from one of the cars behind her comes up to her and suggests that perhaps she ask for assistance from one of the two TollMasters crammed into Booth #1.
So she does. Only to have TL #2 acknowledge her with a nod of her head but stay firmly planted in the booth overlooking the still flustered, button-pushing and sometimes phone calling TL#1.
I look further to the left and see that there is now quite the line of cars trying to get INTO the structure as well. They are stacked all the way up the drive to get in ... no-one moving AT ALL. And no Tollmasters manning that booth either.
Up beside me someone else walks and says to the Forehead Wrinkled in Angst Tollmasters that really they need to get the problem resolved ... and fast! (I'm sure that was very helpful for them btw, Angry Driver #1)
By now there are, of course, a number of cars behind me, more cars in the other exit lane and cars giving up and turning around to get out of the line attempting to enter the structure.
After much waiting, and a palpable impatience filling the parking structure air, TL#1 takes some keys, walks over to the parking gate keeping the car in front of me trapped, and lifts the gate so that the car in front of me can leave.
"Whoo hooo!", I think. They got smart and are just going to let us out, then deal with the problem. Ya know, for the sake of some decent customer service**!
I think wrong.
As I pull up with much excitement at getting the hell out of this underground hellhole, the gate lowers (argh!!!), trapping me at the booth. I look over and TL#1 says "I'm so sorry about the wait" and reaches for my ticket. I'm thinking, "okay, well great, they must have got it fixed but just had a problem with that guy's ticket which is why they had to let him out manually!".
Wrong-o again.
I knew my "They Got It Fixed" theory was WAY off base as soon as TL#1 inserted my ticket into the booth's ticket reader amid the mumblings of "please god, let it work THIS time ... please god, let it work THIS time". (I kid you not)
Never-ever a good sign, right?!
And so I patiently waited. And after much mechanical ponderings, the ticket machine decided to remain unworking. STILL.
So, as TL#2 picked up the phone to again contact someone who so far has been completely unhelpful, TL#1 continued to jam my ticket into the Defunct Ticket Machine. Knowing this would in all probability NOT SOLVE THE COMPUTER'S PROBLEM, I suggested to TL#1 that perhaps she could just let everyone out? (again, I'm thinking like someone who cares about decent customer support. Call me crazy!)
With a quizzical look and continued jabbings of my ticket into the ticket machine as my unspoken negatory answer from TL#1, I figured "SCREW THE MASSES!!! ... JUST SAVE YOURSELF, KAT ... JUST SAVE YOURSELF!!!!".
So I leaned over again and suggested that perhaps she could just let ME out ... since the machine wasn't working and all and since I didn't owe any money.
But TL#1 looks at my ticket and says "uh-uh ..it says 12:07"
???
Okay.
So I venture to reply .... "but it's validated."
So with a harried glance at the underside of my ticket, an irritated (???) TL#1 caved and grabbed up her keys! Whoo hoooo!
I was free! I was free!!!
Which may or may not be true for the rest of the schmucks who were trapped there. I wonder how long they had to wait?
*oops! That's an actual word. I just checked. Who KNEW?! Moving on! :) **Because really, did the Tollmasters not realize that keeping all those people trapped there was going to cost more money in returned shopping business losses then they would save by making them pay to get out?? Especially being that most of those folks owed NOTHING! And the ones that did, at a mere rate of $1.25 per hour, owed maybe (AT MOST) $5 EACH??". But that's just logic talking. Crazy me! What was I thinking??
Yep, it's a struggle to keep from giggling aloud every time I look at my first decorated cake!
Here's the cake pic .... please feel free to giggle at it with me!
Lesson #1: "Stars", "Dots", and "Curvy Lines"
(*snicker, snicker*)
Does this bring back memories to anyone else of my class on felting? (more infamously known as "The Sheep Shit Hat Class"??). Because it does to me!!
But in my defense, the cake just looks especially lopsided and such in this picture. I swear it isn't that bad in real life (no, no ... REALLY! :))
The cake decorations on the other hand .... well, for that, sadly, I have no defense! (hehe)
The good news is ... folks here at work didn't seem to care. Because I put the cake out in the break room at 10:07 am looking like this ....
... and, quite literally, by 10:20 am ... the cake looked like this! (not bad for a small office of about 20 people and with no announcement from me that there was cake available!)
Hi there! Welcome to We R Piggies, Inc.
So now if there are no reported food poisonings around here in the next hour or so (*fingers crossed*), I'll consider cake #1 a success! Whoo hoo!
So I had a bizarro dream last night and I'm not sure what it means. Care to help?
First you should know that I labored for hours over making and icing that dang cake last night in anticipation for my cake decorating class tonight. HOURS!
WHO KNEW it could be such a pain in the arse to make icing from scratch! (and hello?! I've never heard of Crisco solid shortening until my teacher suggested it so how was I supposed to know that I have to purchase the PURE WHITE kind ... else my frosting comes out pale yellow (oops!*)). And then to attempt to ice the cake in such a way as to get the icing to sit completely flat, wrinkle-free and crumb-free. (of which it is not, might I add). Yeahhh. Not really my idea of a fun evening.
But I digress. On to the dream!
So in the dream I show up to class and I have completely forgotten my cake! ARGH, right?! I mean, what the hell am I going to decorate? Anyway, everyone else is there with their perfectly iced cakes, ready to get to the lesson. But when one of the chicks hears that I forgot my cake, she, Miss Ever-Prepared, says not to worry because she came overly-prepared for the class. So she reaches into her bag and hands me a perfectly seasoned, scrumiliciously looking, already cooked chicken breast!!!
Y'all ... WTF?!
And if that wasn't crazy enough .... instead of reacting in a "WTF??" manner ... I am actually relieved and grateful for the chicken breast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like it was actually solving all my problems!
Holy hell, y'all! It's time to show me to the looney bin. It's the only way I can explain it!
*I will, of course, be telling folks in class that I MEANT for the icing to be yellow. Plain white icing ... BAH ... how boring!! Yep, I used some of the yellow food coloring to pretty it up some, that's right. (hey, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!!!! :))
Look how beautiful this bouquet of flower is! My friend K sent them to me at work as a 'thank you' for helping out on the charity auction. Wasn't that sweet?!
"Please ignore me. Thank you", says Mr. Messy Desk.
They are just GORGEOUS!
Of course, I've had UMPTEEN coworkers stopping by my office to inquire about them. Most trying to get the dirt on whatever man they are assuming I must be hiding up my sleeve. So I've been playing along .... acting all coy and mysterious .... and perhaps mumbling something about "from George Clooney" under my breath. (what? It COULD happen! Yuh-huhhhh.)
I mean, I started out by telling the truth. Really I did! But then 5 words into it (those five words being: "oh, they're from a girlfriend") and I'd start seeing that amused gleam in their eye and the razzing would begin. So now the word is that they are from George Clooney. So shhhhh, don't tell!! I think they're buying it! ;)
Okay, so I finally decided to step up and take a class I've been interested in for years. Hallelujah!
And I have also finally started a diet this week! I've been meaning to for months!! Whoo hooo! .... YAY ME!
I am kicking ass and taking names, don't you agree? :)
But there is something niggling in the back of my brain. Something which keeps trying to infer that there is some kind of flaw in my Diet Plan. I have pondered it and pondered it but to no avail. Maybe y'all can help?
Here's what I've got:
Sunday: Started diet Monday: Signed up for cake decorating class (what?) Tuesday: Took first class and learned that homework each week will be to bake and ice a cake to bring to the next class, making sure to also bring extra icing for in-class decorating. Weekly decorated cakes will then, of course, go home with their creators.
I'm telling you, folks .... there's a flaw in this Diet Plan somewhere but I just can't seem to quite put my finger on it. Oh well. So for my first cake, should I make a chocolate cake with a nice, rich buttercream icing?? I already learned how to add in a delicious Bavarian Cream filling for the middle layer. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Can't wait!
Who knew Portland had a White House?! I KNOWWWW ... neither did I!
But it does .... see?!
I stumbled across this while on another of those historical walks ... this time around the Irvington district. I guess this White House serves as a bed and breakfast. Who. Knew!?!
I tell ya, the crazy things you can find while stumbling around town on foot! ;)
I also stumbled across this ... a mini Doberman Pincher. Is that not the cutest thing you have ever seen??
I'm not even a fan of the small dog (sorry Penny) but this one was just too cute. And y'all ... I never even knew this breed existed!! I really do need to get out more!
Speaking of which, so I popped into a New Seasons Market* the other night because CJ was begging for some turkey and I had none (bad mom). And though CJ is not a big fan of their turkey (I think they just get too fancy with their seasonings**), I chose to go there because I was still not feeling 100% and it was the closest grocery store. So I picked out a couple of already cooked chicken quarters for her from their deli.
But while there, I wandered a bit and decided I REALLY should purchase something else ... ya know, while I was ACTUALLY IN a grocery store. (as y'all know, it's not like my cupboards are brimming over with food at home). But just couldn't find anything to my liking (or that I could justify buying at their prices ;)). So my big purchases ..... the two chicken quarters, two plums and a bottle of wine I could not pass up .... based only on the name. (errr, and that it was on sale!)
But look .... it's called "Herding Cats"! HA! I HAD to have it! Lord knows how it tastes ..... but cute name.
So anyway, my bizarre grouping of purchased items did earn me a "have a nice dinner" from the checkout lady! HAHA! I couldn't even tell her that the chicken was for my cat (I'd already eaten), the wine was for future guests (or just show-n-tell ... whatever) and the plums .... well, the plums are still sitting on my counter. Y'all know.
Also a week or two ago I volunteered with Dove Lewis Emergency Animal Hospital for their Dogtoberfest! They raise money by washing and drying dogs all afternoon for $5 a dog! It was great fun! Some beautiful dogs ... and not so bad dog owners, if I might say! ;) Here's a pic I took of the chaos as I was leaving after my shift ended....
And last but not least, my new purchase for my home! Isn't this picture great! I LUVVVVS it!
Okay, that's the latest. Wish me luck ... I'm starting a class tonight which I've been interested in for awhile ... but been dragging my feet over taking because if I really, truly love it and start pursuing it with a passion ... I could well end up weighing 500 pounds. More tomorrow...... :)
*for those of you not familiar with New Seasons, think many organic foods at high prices ;). ** so, should I be more embarrassed that my cat prefers cheap turkey .... or that I KNOW that my cat prefers cheap turkey????????? :)
Will you loan me 20 million dollars? Pretty please ... with cherries on top??
I know it sounds like a lot .... but that seems to be the going rate for a ride to the space station nowadays. And I really want to be a space tourist too!
Perhaps you read the blog set up by Anousheh Ansari which details her recent jaunt to the space station!?! Some pretty interesting stuff from a layman's view (astronauts tend to keep it pretty formal) with regard to real life up there (ie how DO you wash your hair, anyway??)
Anyway, I would love love love to get a chance to be in space! How amazing to see the earth from up above!
So if you could loan me the $20 million ... I'd really appreciate it! Just drop me a line at the email listed on this blog and we'll set it up!
Okay, great ... thanks!
Sincerely, The Next Space Tourist
p.s. But uhhhhhh, ..... we'd probably need to set the loan repayments to be about $20 a month. Hope that's okay! I'm good for it .... I SWEAR! :)
... I can get back to shopping it for men!! :) Or at least back to laughing at the patheticness of most of the personal ads on there.
Like this one:
Moderately fat broke pig looking for Sugar Momma - 40
Doesn't that make you want to grab up your keyboard and type him a loving reply?? Yeah, me neither. What's he thinking??
Others:
I don't deserve a good title. - 30
Reply to: pers-@craigslist.org Date: 2006-09-27, 9:55AM PDT
I was going to post an ad saying. How I would like to meet a gal to go out and occaisionaly do things with. But I came to the realization that I am the biggest loser on the planet.
[hello! Someone hand me my frickin' violin!!!! SHEESH!]
ISO -- Conjugal Companion - 37 (North Coast)
[uh, dude. Perhaps you'd like to relocate this ad into the "Casual Encounter" area. Because, that's what that is....]
single dude with crappy attitude - 27
[yeah, like you're not a dime a dozen. Hell, I think I've got a couple of you where I work!]
Sugar MAMA wanted - 55
[ANOTHER one! What's up with that? And it's not like he's a 22 year old that can at least offer up a fabulous young, lean, hard, ...... wait, where was I?? ... oh yeah, body. Sheesh!]
Im looking for a girl who wants to move in with me
[desperate much?!]
LETS MOVE TO THE HILLS OR COAST RUN A SMALL MM PHARM AND RETIRE YOUNG - 35
[yeah, gotta love this guy. He's looking for someone to run a pot farm with him. Uhhhh ... NO.]
And my favorite:
Start backwards - 28 [intriguing title, right?!)
Reply to: pers-@craigslist.org Date: 2006-09-28, 10:25AM PDT
I like to start backwards with my relationships. Instead of getting to know someone really well before we have sex. I like to have sex then get to know someone [ah, nice. Just another casual encounter ad]. I figure if the sex is not good for both the relationship will not go very far [hmmm. Apparently you've never heard the term "making love" before?]. Any ladies out there want to possible have some good sex and then take if from there send me a pic. If I like I will send you one in return. Worst thing that can happen is we get to gether have sex and then never talk again. Doen't sound that bad. Happy hunting.
[idiot]
And there you have it. Still a ton of losers out there. BUT ..... while trolling for blog fodder, I DID find one ad that actually intrigued me (holy cow, right?). And so with no expectations I replied. I actually just offered up a concert buddy. We'll see what he says. Wish me much sex ..... errr, I mean "LUCK"! Wish. me. much. LUCK! ;)
So I've been lamenting my singlehood lately, what with being sick and all. It has SUCKED not having anyone to cater to me while I've been laid up on the couch hacking up a lung and waiting to die. It's just not right having to drag yourself out late at night to purchase the much needed Nyquil to get you through the night. Shouldn't someone be there to do that for you so you can wallow in peace??!
Yeah, I think so too. :)
Someone should also be around to keep you from having to drag yourself out two days later to purchase something .... nay anything ... to eat. What with cupboards being bare and all since the cats seem to be too lazy to learn how to shop for groceries on their own.
So I've been grumbling and feeling a little down. As well as been continuing to cough up a lung or two while sniffling my way through the day (might I just insert here that COMTREX SUCKS! 'Nuff said)
But my attitude regarding singlehood has been brought back to reality this morning while listening to a local radio station on my way into work. The djs invited listeners to call up with reasons why they may have been "in the dog house" (ie in trouble) in the past with their significant others.
Now my commute is fairly minimal now with the new location of my condo and all (yay!!!). And so I only heard two listeners. But MAN .... did those two calls put the fear of relationships back into me. Let me tell you.
Here's why:
Caller #1 said that she got into trouble with her spouse because she liked to spend their hard earned money on gambling. The djs asked how much she lost. She said $10,000! I about had a heart attack. Uhhhh yeah! I'da killed my spouse for losing $10,000 bucks gambling!! HOLY COW!!!! This listener said it did almost cost her the marriage but that she has sought help and things were getting back on track (just not the race track, I'm assumin'!)
Holy bejeezus.
Then came Caller #2: She said that she also got into trouble with her spouse for spending money she shouldn't have. I guess she took the RENT MONEY (she specifically said "rent money") and spent it on a spa day. Ya know, massage, manicure, etc. (my immediate thought was: "crap, can't return THAT for a refund!!!"). And then she had the gall to giggle about how stressed out and "dramatic" her husband got because he was concerned about how they were going to pay the bills. Ya know, to keep from getting kicked out on the street. This chick I about bitch-slapped! How the HELL does a relationship get to the point where you can't even work as a team with regard to something as simple as "this is the money allotted for the rent. This NEEDS to be here.". HOLY COW. That's Paying The Bills 101. Man oh man.
So yeah, singlehood definitely has some downsides. But it has some upsides too. Because I am SO happy not to have to worry about someone else f'in up my finances anymore. So, SO happy.
So for now, until Mr Right (who needs to be a.k.a "Mr Fiscally Responsible" apparently ;)) comes along, I'm working on training the cats with regard to that whole "grocery shopping while mama's sick" thing. It's not going well so far. For some reason they keep interpreting everything on the list to be "raw meat". Not good. :)
Though I did feel like dead people all weekend. And yesterday.
And today, come to think of it.
Because I caught The Cold From Hell. Today I am back at work but it is wavering on becoming The End of The Cold From Hell Plus Potential Stomach Flu. Good times, people. Good times.
But anyway, back to the dead people.
So on Friday night I took a tour of Portland's Shanghai Tunnels. Anyone ever heard of those? Apparently Portland was the Shanghai capitol of the world back in the late 1800 and up until as recently as 1941!! There are many underground tunnels intertwined under the city in which many an unsuspecting drunken man or unescorted woman would be captured and sold into slavery back in the day. The men sold to ship captains for a period of 3 to 6 years and the women sold into prostitution ... never to return.
Pretty freaky, right?
The tour begins at a local Portland tavern called Hobo's.
The guide takes you down into the tunnels through a grate in the sidewalk right outside the tavern:
One of the first rooms you see is what used to be an opium den:
Into another room you find the remnants of cells which held the captured men until a ship captain came to purchase them. The room was spooky. Very, very low light. Low ceiling. And barely a grate to see into another room nearby. Not a pleasant place to be, that's for dang sure. And though immediately overhead is a tavern, apparently back then the barkeeps were "paid" not to hear any cries for help. Yuck.
Plus nearby, a pile of discarded boots remained. The shanghaiers de-booted the captives and had the cells surrounded by broken glass so that in case of any escape, the escapee could easily be tracked by the trail of blood. And hence recaptured.
Some of the men were originally captured with the assistance of a barkeep. The barkeep could release a trapdoor (called a deadfall) so his prey would drop through into the tunnels below and into the waiting arms of the shanghaiers.
A re-enactment
The women who were captured by the white slavers were thrown into a tiny wooden room and kept in complete darkness until they "broke" and could then be shipped to another state and used for prostitution. The guide says that he was told it took no more than 48 hours to "break" a woman .... though he said he interviewed one famous white slaver who boasted that it took him no more than 8 hours. (*shudder*)
Here's a picture of that room:
Now remember that room ... because I'll be referring to it again in a minute......
Though the history alone of Portland's Shanghai Tunnels is creepy enough in its own right .... it gets creepier. Because apparently those tunnels are known throughout the paranormal world to be the 10th most haunted place in the US!!
Our guide for the night warned that, though he doesn't believe in ghosts per se, he does believe in the "history of this place". And that many tourists have reported many of the same experiences over the years.
In other words, at certain points of the tour, one or two folks in the group may comment about a certain hint of perfume. And each identify the perfume to be the same well known brand.
Or perhaps folks might say they saw an apparition. Only over the years, people give the same descriptions of the apparitions!!
So I was VERY happy that I was not one of the folks that saw any of the dead people.
BUT ..... apparently someone in our group did!!!!
He had his shoulder tapped by NO-ONE (*heebie jeebie shudder*) and when he looked over a door opened by itself and he saw the ghost of a woman slumped over in the chair in that room I showed you above. Another guy was with him at the time and saw that part too.
The guy that got his shoulder tapped seemed to take it very calmly. Very calmly indeed. Most folks didn't even know it had occurred.
Which WOULD NOT have been the case had I been the one to have my shoulder tapped and to see that. I guaran-f'in-tee you that!!! You can bet there would have been a flood of VERY LOUD "motherf'ing bleepety bleep bleep bleeps" come flying outta my mouth had that happened to me!!! And I certainly would not have just casually continued on that tour. Nosireebob. That guide would have needed to get my ass back up to the street ... and pronto! Is all I'm sayin! Because that's just C-R-E-E-P-Y!
And it was weird because at the end of the tour I happened to be standing near the guide as he was speaking to another volunteer there. And I guess they were trying to figure out which ghost this guy had seen. The volunteer thought it might be "Jenny" but the guide said "no, Jenny is very pretty and wears black. I think this guy was describing her friend.". Yeah, HELLO. That's just too frickin' weird for me, folks. These folks KNOW the ghosts and discuss them just like it's nothing. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Guess where I WON'T be going back to anytime soon? Anyone?? Anyone?? Yeah, especially now that the start of fall through the end of December seems to be the time of the most paranormal experiences there. So says the guide. Who has names for the ghosts. Uh yeah.
So I took a historical walk on Saturday ..... errr, not that my walk will be remembered historically .... just that I signed up for a walk put on by the City of Portland which pointed out buildings of historical significance. Y'all know.
And on this walk through Portland's Hollywood District, I came upon this........
Now, do y'all think these home owners were trying to trim their bush (heh) to look like a mushroom?? Or say, something a tad more amusing to those of us with the mentality of a 12 year old boy? Just askin'. Because ... I'm not seeing "mushroom".
This Saturday I spent the day volunteering at a silent auction/classical concert charity event held that night for a 4 year old girl I know that desperately needs a kidney transplant. I helped out with organizing the donations prior to the event and also in setting up and running the silent auction during the event.
Now, for all y'all who don't know, a "silent auction" is an auction in which all the items are laid out on tables with bid sheets next to them. You bid by writing down the amount you'd like to bid on the sheet along with your bidder number (as opposed to your name ...... this keeps the bidding anonymous). During the auction you may see that someone has come along and outbid you on an item and you have the opportunity to keep rebidding ..... up until the auction closes.
So originally we, "The Donation Organizing Committee", decided that the minimum starting bid on items would be set at 40% of the suggested retail value (which was given to us by the donor of the item). However, during setup, some of those numbers were rethought and I went around slashing prices, to better ensure that everything was auctioned off.
I did the same thing during the auction. If I noticed that an item wasn't getting any bids, I'd slash the starting minimum bid even lower in the hopes that the lower price would entice someone to start the bidding.
This seemed to work very well. Not only would someone bid on the item, but then generally others would start bidding on it as well.
Towards the end of the auction, there were maybe two items which didn't have any bids at all. One of the items was a bronze statue from India. The suggested market value was $375 because it was a one-of-a-kinda "lost wax" type of statue. The other item I believe was a month's worth of Aikido lessons for a child.
Being that my buying the Aikido lessons was pointless, what with no children and all, I thought maybe I could start the bidding on the statue. But I was torn between thinking it was ugly and thinking it was something I could make work in my decor*. Anyway, so with the minimum bid already set to a low $40, I entered my bidding number, and hoped that the bidding would begin.
Uh yeah.
Y'all, meet My New Statue. Statue, meet y'all...........
Now I'm not quite sure what this statue symbolizes. Does anyone know? It's not the Hindu God of Fertility or some such thing is it???!!!!!!! Because if it is ... it will need to go! :)
Holy crap! There should have been a warning to put on your sunglasses before clicking on this Craigslist ad for this couch and chair. Or at least to break out a piece of cardboard with a pinhole in the middle. Cuz uhhhhh ..... HOLY COW! I think I'm seeing spots! (The bright yellow walls they have going on in there aren't helping to tone it down, that's for dang sure!!)
AWESOME, COLBALT BLUE FUN and BRIGHT Furniture SET - $800
This is an awesome colbalt blue loveseat and couch. The set includes a matching rocking chair that is SUPER comfy. There are also 4 matching throw pillows. This set is really super cool. We get tons of compliments and love the set. We are just changing the theme of this room. I will entertain any offers. Price is negotiable.
This item has been posted by-owner. this is in or around Gresham/Portland no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
So I was returning from running errands at lunch and needed to turn left across a very busy street in order to get back to the office. I was sitting in the middle lane reserved for making hair-raising turns onto and off-of this Chaotic Road of Death (my name for it) waiting for traffic to clear enough for me to make the turn.
So I'm waiting .... and I'm waiting ... for the current group of cars to pass ..... and I look up and see a loooooooonnnnnnngggg line of Group #2 folks following along immediately behind this Group #1 of cars. So I knew I was in for a much longer wait.
Unless.
I saw one car in the far right lane (there were two lanes of opposing traffic I needed to cross), the leader of Group #2, with a small gap in front of it. And this said car was not what one would label Mr Speed Demon. The gap was pretty small but I thought "f this, I'm goin' for it".
So as soon as the end car of Group #1 passed I popped the clutch, hit the accelerator and turned the steering wheel. Because I drive a sports car and it's zippy like that and this won't be a problem at all.
Uh yeah.
About half a second later I remember that I no longer drive a sports car . I now drive a small SUV. The sportscar would react immediately to my every command with much gumption and enthusiasm. Barely had to take any pressure off the clutch and just tap the accelerator and the car would be in motion. Quick motion.
With the SUV ... not so much. The SUV likes to let me practically step OFF the clutch before it notices. And then kinda likes to think whether or not it wants to go*. And so, about halfway through the first lane I needed to cross, I thought "shit ... I ain't gonna make it!".
But I did. (haha ... y'all thought I was going to say I got in another car accident, didn't ya?? :))
But I BARELY made it. Which sucked. I mean, Mr Slow Poke may or may not have had even to step off the accelerator to slow down. I know it wasn't close enough for him to have had to hit the brakes.
But had I been in the sports car, he may not have even SEEN me as I whizzed by faster than lightening.
Which is the point of this story. That I miss my zippy sportscar. And that perhaps I need to learn that I no longer drive that. Ya know, so I don't get myself killed.
Sigh. Ah well, at least now with my mini-SUV I can haul a ton o' shit. Ikea trip, anyone?? :)
*this is actually a fairly sporty SUV and most people would think it was pretty peppy. But Most People just didn't spend the last 5 years driving a sports car and so don't have the comparison. Just gripin' is all. ;)
Which is why I was mega-confused as to why Powell's decided to have The Yarn Harlot's book signing last night at such a tiny venue. I mean, I showed up half hour early and it was standing room only already. See?
By the time The Harlot came out, there were knitters galore standing in amongst the rows of books unable to see anything but the two feet surrounding them.
I, being that my middle name is "Wiley", had meanwhile meandered in, around, and amongst the maze of people, bookrows and knick knacks until I discovered a little alcove which brought me to an empty spot not 5 feet from where Stephanie would be speaking. I ALSO found a tiny step stool and used that as my chair. Which gave me an excellent spot from which to wait and then to watch. See? Here's my view......
Pretty dang sweet, right?! :)
And here is Stephanie taking her infamous sock pictures .... the sock I was working on pictured in the foreground.
Please notice that there are FIVE needles in this picture. But when I got home ... only four remained! I have lost my first knitting needle! WAHHHHH!
Sitting in front of me ... the cutest.knitter.ever! I'm thinkin' she's about 4. Look at that concentration! She'll be showing me up in ...... well, probably two weeks! She was already goin' pretty good.
And last but not least, the second cutest knitter ever ... with the harlot. (hmmm, now does she mean "the second cutest knitter ever with The Yarn Harlot"?? OR? Is Stephanie the "second cutest knitter ever". Hmmmmmm??? :))
Just call me "Chins"
Anyway, thanks to Stephanie for providing such a great time! She's just so down to earth and frickin' hilarious that you've just got to love her!
Cuz that's what I'm talkin' about. There's nothing I love more than coming home after a long, difficult day at the office, changing into my old, worn pjs, grabbing up my tv remote and maybe some ice-cream (what?), and then sprawling out to relax on my bookshelf (errr, I mean "book shelve").
But do you know how difficult it is to find a comfortable one? Yeah, not so easy. Which makes this "very comfortable" one for only $69 a screamin' deal, I'm thinkin'!
So there is something about Honey Nut Cheerios that CJ can NOT get enough of.
Back when she was a youngster, she'd come staggering out every morning, still groggily wiping morning sleep from her eyes, as soon as she heard me pour my bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. And we would sit and share and life was good. (this was obviously pre-kitty-liver-disease-diagnosis)
But I've not had HNC for years and years. Just happened to get the hankering the other day.
But, apparently, CJ has not forgotten them. Because one whiff and she was on me like flies on poop!
Just look at this pupil-dilated, hypnotic stare into the bowl*. You can just feel her willing that last cheerio to leap into her mouth.
"Come to me, you little honeyed tidbit of goodness"
And normally CJ abides by the rules. Ya know, the "no taking food not offered" rule. She can stare at me. She can stare at the food. She can even reach her paw out to cutely remind me that she'd like something. But there is NO taking the food off of my plate. Or outta my bowl.
Uh yeah.
Apparently, that rule goes right out the window when HNCs are involved. Because I turn my head for one minute and.........
Bad kitty.
And then, and THEN ... she had the audacity to give me the "what? I didn't do nuthin'" look.
Which may have been more effective without the incriminating evidence on her face.
Yeah, bad, bad kitty.
"Hello, my name is CJ and I'm a HoneyNutCheeri-aholic"
General Mills ... I'm thinkin' commercial**. Give me a call!
*I love this picture! ** yeah, I'm pimpin' out my cat! What of it?? :)
It's funny because Emma has been fascinated with the toilet since I moved to my new condo too. (She hasn't been flushing it, mind you ... she ain't that sharp ... but she has been hanging over the rim looking into the bowl whenever I flush it). I've been wanting to take a picture but by the time I get my camera she has been distracted by something else. (hmmmm. Perhaps this A.D.D. stuff is contagious??? :))
A picture I took while driving* to a friend's house several weeks ago. Isn't that sky great?
*unless you're a police officer. In which case I was definitely NOT fumbling around for and with my camera while driving. Nope, I was most definitely pulled over to the side of the road all safe and sound like! Or, better yet.... I took it while standing on my front porch. If'n I had a front porch. Yeah, yeah ... that's the ticket (wait, who said "ticket"????)
I'm getting nothing done at the condo, folks. NOTHING.
Tons of projects .... nothing at all getting finished. I've self-analyzed and realized I think it's because I have A.D.D. Either that, or I'm absolutely senile.
Why do I say that, you ask?!! Well, let me give you a brief glimpse into The Chaotic Condo Life Of Kat. Here's a snapshot of my time one morning this past weekend:
[Enter with Kat in master bedroom]
(*Kat spots moving box of packed toiletries sitting in bedroom*)
"Time to unpack this box of bathroom supplies which has been sitting in my bedroom since I moved in. Now where did I put the scissors so I can open it? Hmmm, I'm guessing downstairs in the kitchen. Either on the counter or in the drawer."
(*Enters hallway on the way downstairs. Spots CJ sitting at top of stairs*).
"Well, hiya CJ. How goes it? Oh, are you hungry? Okay, come on, let's get you a treat."
(*continues down stairs and into kitchen with cat following. Spots painting supplies in entryway*)
"Okay, my major goal today..... To paint the dining room. That's going to take awhile so the sooner I get started the better. I'll need the ladder for that. Where's that? Oh yeah, upstairs. But let's be efficient, is there anything from downstairs that needs to go upstairs that I can take with me while I'm heading up anyway??"
(*walks into living room to check. Spots unopened bag of cat litter that had been previously brought in from the car and not yet stored away yet*)
"Damn, that's right ... I'm in desperate need of completely changing out the catboxes. I should do that right now before I forget."
(*heads to kitchen to get almost full kitchen trash bag to use for litter so can then take all trash at once out to dumpster*)
(*takes trash container from under kitchen sink, removes its trash bag, places in new bag and puts empty trash container back under sink*)
"Hmmm, while I'm at it, I should throw out those couple of items going bad in the fridge."
(*opens fridge*)
"Oh man, I'm hungry... I haven't had breakfast yet so I should probably eat. Maybe I'll do that first before I start dealing with yucky cat litter."
(*puts trash bag down in kitchen, washes hands at sink, then goes back to fridge and ponders food options*)
(*grabs leftover pizza from fridge (what?) and a Starbucks bottled frap (double "what"??? :), tosses a small snippet of chicken to CJ, then heads to living room to eat*)
"Yippee skippee, while I eat I can watch the episode of Monk I missed last night" (shut it)
(*grabs remotes and tracks down Monk episode to watch*)
(*watches Monk*)
(*as well as maybe the episode of Psych*) (seriously, shut it! ;))
(*turns off tv*)
"Okay, now what was I doing?"
(*confusedly looks around and spots empty shelving which should hold cds*)
"Cool, now that the living room is painted I can fill those shelves with my cds and movies. I think those are packed in a box upstairs in the office"
(*heads upstairs*)
(*before entering office, glance in master bedroom and notice pile of laundry that needed to be done*)
"Well, before I start shelving the cds, I might as well get a load of wash started! Cuz me .... all about the efficiency!!! And that way I'll be getting two things done at once! Whoo hoooo!"
(*enters master but before grabbing laundry sees box of toiletries*)
"Dang it! ... that's right .... I was going to unpack that real quick. All I needed was the scissors! What a dork! I WILL finish something today!"
(*jogs downstairs and into kitchen*)
(*but before locating scissors, almost trips over bag of garbage left in the middle of the floor*)
"Crap, that's right ... I need to get rid of that. But I think I have a few things in the fridge to toss in there first..."
(*opens fridge. Sees CJ's bottle of pills in there.*)
"Sorry, kitty ... first up ... I need to give you your pills for today."
(*tries to reach down to pick up CJ but CJ has heard the "p" word and makes a dash for the living room*)
(*starts heading off after CJ until ....................[insert sound of phone ringing off in the distance]*)
"Crap! My cell phone! Where did I put that??"
(*races upstairs and traces source of ringing to purse which is sitting beside the bed. Furiously digs through purse but can't find phone before ringing stops.*)
"GAHHHHH! I REALLY need to clean out my purse!!!!"
(*Finally finds phone and sees that "unknown caller" was the dialer. Waits a few heartbeats but phone does not indicate any voicemails being left. DAMNIT!*)
(*Plops down on floor and dumps out purse to start the purse cleaning process. Hears cell phone beep*)
(*Looks over and notices that the cell phone is warning about a low battery*)
"Dang it .... I better get this phone charging since I don't have a landline. Now where did I put that cell phone charger?? It COULD be downstairs in the kitchen. OR was it left on the master bath's counter??"
(*Gets up and walks into master bath area to check. Doesn't find the charger but MAN does that sink need to be cleaned*)
"Before I go downstairs to plug in the cell, I might as well clean this sink real fast. I know I've seen that cleaner recently ..... Is that in the other bathroom??"
(*Puts cellphone down on counter and walks out of master and starts heading over to the second bathroom. While in hallway, glances into office and see the ladder*)
"That's RIGHT ... I MUST paint! That's going to take awhile! I'd better get that started!"
(*Enters office and grabs the ladder. Takes ladder downstairs in through the living room and spots the bag of cat litter*)
"DAMNIT! I REALLY need to change those cat boxes! But before I do that I need to grab the trash bag from the kitchen and I really should dump those couple of items from the fridge. Then I can just dump the litter as well into that trash bag and get it all out at once! Ya know .... cuz I'm all about efficiency!!"
(*Puts ladder down in dining room and enters kitchen. Before reaching trash bag, notices cellphone charger sitting on desk*)
"GAHHHH! My cellphone! I REALLY need to plug that in! I'd better do that first ... ya know, before I forget!......."
(*Grabs cell charger and sees paint samples purchased the day before sitting next to it.*)
"SWEET! I've been meaning to see if this paint color will work in the second bathroom. I can take this upstairs while I'm at it and save myself a trip."
(*Grabs paint sample and heads upstairs. Decides to pop into the second bathroom real quick to get an impression of how that paint will look. Puts cell charger on bathroom counter and holds paint sample to wall. Thinks the sample looks pretty good but won't be able to really tell until a patch is painted on the wall and left to dry. Decides to grab a paint brush from downstairs to do so. But before can leave the bathroom Emma hops on the counter*)
"Well, heya, Kitty-kitty ... you want to be brushed?"
(*Puts paint sample down on bathroom counter next to cell charger and grabs kitty brush from under sink. Proceeds to brush Emma*)
(*While brushing Emma, glances into master bedroom and spots pile of laundry*)
"That's right ... the laundry ... GAHHHHHHH ....I was meaning to start that!"
(*Finishes brushing Emma and walks into master to grab laundry. Does so and heads downstairs to the washing machine. Places laundry in washing machine and sees that there is plenty of room for some additional items. Decides it would be more efficient to grab more items before starting the washer. Exits laundry room and starts towards the stairs to find more items. Spies CJ trying to look inconspicous*)
"Hey now, kitty ... we still need to do your pill. Come onnnnn"
(*Scoops up CJ and heads into kitchen. Places her on counter and pills her. Spots scissors trying to hide under the mail sitting on the counter next to CJ. Remembers was looking for the scissors ... only at this point ... doesn't remember why! Looks around the area hoping something will jog the "scissor" memory .... spots the trash bag, the laundry room door, the bag of cat litter and a bunch of painting supplies. Suddenly feels overwhelmed! Decides to take a break and read.*)
And such is life nowadays, folks! This is why the condo is not yet painted. Nor unpacked. And why my cellphone may often be dead. :)
Good news is ......... I may be losing weight .... ya know, what with all the stair climbing and all! :)
