Me and my smoky lungs are back from LA!

Actually, I expected the air to be much worse down there! The discolored sky could have been smoke ... could have been smog ..... all I know is ... I'm happy to live and breathe in Portland! ;)

But anyway, great trip down south with T2! We saw the mama, we hung out with friends, we did touristy stuff, AND we saw Bruce! YAY!

I will soon post pictures and stories ... but today I am busy trying to catch up at work.

Plus perhaps hyperventilating a little because I am going to a Halloween party tonight and I have decided to take a MAN with me! (I know ... scary). It will be the first intro of him to some friends. Wish me much wine! :)

Until later.....

To all you cat owners out there!

I KNOW you've experienced mornings like this! (Funniest with sound, so turn up those speakers!)

Poopsie-daisies!

So I've mentioned that Emma is perhaps not the sharpest tool in the shed, right?! Yeah, well ... here is further proof.

I missed out on videoing the first 5 minutes of this venture, Miss Emma trying to find out where the poop smell was coming from! She kept blaming me and sniffing at me any time I came near. But no ..... it 'twas her own bum! It just took Miss Brainiac a little while to figure it out.

But the good news is .... she eventually did! I think she deserves a gold star!! ;)

Think "Flat As A Pancake!"

In honor of mi amiga who is getting her first ever mammogram today .....

.....And in honor of me who has to call to make an appointment for my very own first ever mammogram today......

... the phrase "Jebus on a cracker" will hereby be "Teetus on a cracker" this week ..... for obvious reasons!

Of course, she is getting a mammogram because her doc recommends it for anyone in certain age groups. No worries there.

I am getting a mammogram because a medium said to.

Oh yeah, you heard me.

So there's a good time. Try explaining that to your doctor. "Uh hi. Yeah, I have a friend who went to a medium. And the medium told her all kinds of freakily true things. And one thing she said was that she has a friend with my name who needs to go get a mammogram. She said she'll be fine, just scared, but yeah ... she needs to get a mammogram."

Uh huh.

So, my doc gave me the referral to the mammographer (??? ... hehe) and to a psychiatrist! (HA! I kid! I mean, I could use one, don't get me wrong, but my doc didn't even really bat an eye. Which I found relieving, and yet at the same time, slightly odd! ;))

So anyway, wish us luck!

It's official ... I have a Girl Crush!

Yep, that's right .... my first Girl Crush! Crazy Aunt Purl came to town last night and T2 and I headed over to Powell's for the book signing.

Y'all .... that woman is frickin' ADORABLE! Gorgeous as all get-out, funnier than my mama (sorry mom), and if she is ill at ease speaking in front of folks she certainly doesn't show it! I wanted to hate her for all that .... but I couldn't .... I loves her. It's official!

She read the first chapter of the book ("Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair", for those of you not InTheKnow) then proceeded to answer audience questions. That was my favorite part, because that woman can talk! And with the most adorable of southern accents.

Here's a brief bit I recorded while she was talking about how her coworkers (except for Work Jennifer) were in the dark about her book until one accidentally saw a copy on Work Jennifer's desk.



Yeah, she's frickin' adorable, right?!

And here's a picture with the leg warmers she is currently knitting! Hehe ... leg warmers! Too cute!

Oh, by the way, throwing Muggle T2 into a knitting environment was a hoot! To see so many folk knitting in public (gasp!) I believe was a shock to her system. She recovered well ...... although I noticed she didn't even take a second glance at the baskets of yarn laying around. (apparently I have more educating to do with her! ;))

So Crazy Aunt Purl (CAP) signed books afterwards and I managed to get mine signed without making TOO big of a babbling idiot of myself (or maybe I did, but let's just pretend otherwise, shall we!). I mean, I did throw out to her that I was her stalker down in LA that one time at The Stinking Rose. Which, to her credit, she managed to keep from dropping everything and calling for security backup! (perhaps her fine southern upbringing prevented her from doing so??).

But! BUT! I also had a copy of the book from T1 to get signed as well. (T1 now currently living in North Carolina and is HOPEFULLY MOVING BACK SOMEDAY, DAMNIT but sent her book out to me so I could get it signed for her since CAP isn't heading out that way.).

And T1 asked me to show CAP a picture of T1 and Baby Q while CAP was signing her book. (yeah, hello .... as if my idiot babbling wasn't bad enough! ;)). Anyway, CAP was awesome! She's all "oh, we all need to take a group photo with it then!". And so we did!

(Yeah, y'all didn't think I was going to let that one be easily full sized, did ya?!

I mean, first off, anyone standing next to CAP is going to look like a toad because of her gorgeousness. Dem's just the facts.

Secondly, the Rules Of Having Your Picture Taken just go right on out the window whenever anyone points a camera at me!

I generally can pull off Rule #1 (shoulders back, hence boobage out) and Rule #2 (stomach in).

Rule #3 (chin(s) up) is usually a bit more difficult for me, as proven here.

But Rule #4 (arm AWAY from the body) is always, always my downfall. I get so tensed up right before the camera clicks that my arm gets pressed tightly against my body. Which, as y'all know, forces the "bat wing" to spread out to its fullest glory! Sigh. And y'all thought I would learn, after I looked at every single China picture and saw the same thing! (*repeatedly taps forehead with fingers and repeats mantra, "Must remember to keep the arm awayyyyyy from the body! Must remember to keep the arm awayyyyy from the body!!!"*). Seriously, how difficult is that rule?! It's not, right?! But yeah, there's just no hope. I see a camera and I clench everything tighter than coal making a diamond! Damnit!)

But LOOK! Via the wonders of cropping, here's a great picture of CAP holding the picture of T1 and the ultra-adorable Baby Q!

Yay! That, at least, is very, very cute!

So anyway, all in all a fun time! I hope some of y'all get the chance to see her too! She's so adorable that I warned her T2 and I would be in Los Angeles stalking Springsteen on the 29th so she might have to be careful and beat her bushes to ensure that we weren't in there stalking her too. Luckily for her (and me -- I've managed to avoid a police record so far, I don't want to start now!), she said she's in Tennessee! Whew!

Though I forgot to warn her that I'm down there for Christmas too. Hmmmm. :)

In case you are bored at work today.....

Here's a little link to amuse you. Try to see how far you can keep the drunk walking. I've only managed 51 meters so far .... but the afternoon is still young!! ;)

I'm apparently Straight-Brained

The link below takes you to a visual test to determine your right-braininess vs left-braininess. I was surprised that mine defaults to the dancer turning clockwise ... which indicates more right-brained. With a little doing I could get her to switch directions and now I can get her to do it at will. But the first time I look at it she is still turning clockwise. I find that odd. (if you knew me, you would too! I am sooo about the math! :))

Which way is she turning for you? I keep trying to query male coworkers here but they seem too distracted by the outline of her torso to be able to reply coherently! ;)

Here's the link

Ah man, I'm back to bashing!

Dang it! I've been trying to be good, really I have, and have managed to avoid the bashing of some of the craigslist ads lately.

But I made the mistake of doing a search on Craigslist for "funky" because I like to see what unique artwork and/or furniture, etc is out there. That's my kinda style.

But my eyes fell upon the ad title: "Leather skirt w/fringe Plus Size". And I thought ... "plus size"?? ... in a leather skirt?? ... ah, this can't be good. So I took a look at the post.

Y'all, here's the photo of the skirt:

And here is the ad:

I recently purchased this skirt off of eBay and discovered that it's too long for me. The tag says it's a size 30w but I'm a 22/24 and could wear it easily but there is plenty of room. If you're a size 22 - 32, I'm sure it would fit you easily. It's very soft, black leather and in awesome condition. The smell is a little funky but it isn't bad, just needs to be aired out I'd guess. Please let me know if you're interested, there's a lot of skirt here for only $50 and yes, that price is firm.

Not only does is SMELL bad (???) ... but the seller is saying it is TOO LONG! Really? ... too long????? I'm not nearly that big and I wouldn't be caught dead in public with a skirt that short! I'd be arrested for scaring little children. They'd be all "MAMA! MAMA!! There is some fringe covered white dimpled jiggly monsters coming after us!!!!! HELPPPPPP!!!!!!" (It just would NOT be a good look, KnowWhatI'mSayin'?)

Seriously, too long??????????

Good golly, she is a braver woman that I!

Friday Cuteness

I call this one "Hungry, hungry Kit-to"



I get like that with my food too! (heh!)

Catch up!

Okay, first off all y'all AREN'T HELPING with regard to this tattoo thing. ;) I can't envision any tattoo at all looking good on me right now .... but 20 years and 20 pounds from now? ... yeah, just boggles the mind (and not in a good way!!). So if the tattoo ever happens ... it will have to be something very, very significant. And at this point, I got nuthin'! :)

So I had a date Monday night which .... (are you sitting down for this??)... WASN'T HORRIBLE. (I know!). Yep, apparently my standards have been lowered to the point where if I am not trying to gnaw my arm off even once to make my escape during the date, I consider the date a success! Sad really! :) Anyway, we chatted easily for two hours or so and he asked me out again for the weekend. I'll keep y'all posted.

Though actually, the past couple of weeks men have been coming outta the woodwork (when it rains, it pours!) so I'm not sure who realigned the planets, but thank you! (although that young 26 year old who just wanted to be Friends With Benefits ... yeah, didn't need him. Just patted him on his behind and sent him back home to mama. But for the others, thank you). So wouldn't it be a cruel joke that after The Great Dry Spell Of '02, '03, '04 (.... ah, fuck it ... that's just too depressing, let's just call it The Great Dry Spell (TGDS) shall we?...) that I ended up torn between too many great guys at once?? I mean, sure, I'll take it ... don't think I won't ..... but I'm really only looking for one.

Big adventure coming up!!!! You know how my List To-Do includes front row at a Springsteen concert?? Well, T2 and I have tickets in hand and we are flying down to LA to catch the show!! Whoo hooooo!!!!! We have general admission floor seats so we have a CHANCE to get front row! Granted, knowing the fanaticalness (is too a word!) of the LA'ers with regard to their bands, the front row chance may be slim .... but nonetheless, it is a chance! And we are going for it!!! Wish us luck!!! The tickets say "no cameras" and usually I ... uhhh .... might overlook that fact, as y'all know... but I don't think I'm risking it for Springsteen! Nuh-uh, no way! I WANT IN and I WANT FRONT ROW and getting turned away at the door to take the camera back to the car or booted out of the concert entirely is NOT in the game plan!! So though I may not have any pictures, I plan to have stories of touching the greatness that is Springsteen (umm, that sounded dirtier than I intended).

Let's see ... what else?? I CANNOT believe I have not written up the post about the last Daughtry concert I went to. Remind me about that one.

Oh, did just see Lou Diamond Phillips in the theatrical presentation of Camelot!

Yeah, I only snorted a few times while trying to suppress the chuckles when he first broke into song. I behaved myself the rest of the time (well, except for when the cast performed "What Do The Simple Folk Do ". My third grade class performed that song and I couldn't help but bop along to it. Amused my friends but perhaps not so much the rest of the auditorium (oops!)). All in all, mildly entertaining. I think I was spoiled by the quality of the theatrical performances down in Los Angeles .... it just doesn't get much better than Michael Crawford in The Phantom Of The Opera! I mean, LDP did a great job with the character ... but I just kept hearing "bbbbbllaaadada La Bamba" in my head.

Okay, that's it for now. Hope y'all are having a great week!

uh-oh, is this the third sign??

I was browsing the Australian news site today and found an article titled:

"Orang-utan looking for blondes with tattoos"

Things that make you go "Hmmmm". :)

Help! The peer pressure! The peer pressure!!!!

So last week I was flipping channels and stumbled across the new show LA Ink*. Somehow I got sucked in and now I see that the tattooists on the show are just so amazingly artistic that they have actually made me CONSIDER getting a tattoo one day. I mean, these folks will take a photo of your loved one and created this phenomenal portrait tattoo for you! Sheesh, and here I was thinking folks just got butterflies or roses! (yeah, I don't get out much!)

But anyway, if you know me, my considering getting a tattoo has got to seem astounding for several reasons!

First, I hate pain! Tiny needles jabbing into my body for hours on end just doesn't sound like a fun time. Call me crazy!

Second, my weight fluctuates. A tattoo which looks good at one weight ain't gonna look so hot perhaps at another! Just sayin' is all! ;)

And most importantly, I'm commitment phobic. If I won't even commit to what I'm having for dinner tonight, how the heck would I ever be able to commit to a freakin' tattoo. Seriously! :)

Nonetheless, that show got me thinking that I could no longer say, without a doubt, that I will never get a tattoo.

Fast forward to today: Another coworker walks in to my office to say hi and just out of the blue asks me if I know a good local tattooist. HELLO? What an odd question to ask me, one who has NO tattoos and has never even talked about tattoos with her.

I say "no" but suggest she talk to my office mate who has gotten a tattoo locally and likes the artist. So the three of us sit around talking about it for a bit and now for some reason this coworker wants me to go get a tattoo with her. And keeps popping in all day mentioning it. And my office mate isn't helping because he wants us to do it. The pressure people!! Two against one! This ain't right!!! ARGH!

So anyway, that's two mentions of tattoos recently. Some folks say that when something gets thrown at you in "threes" that The Universe is trying to tell you something. Why The Universe would feel that I need a Snoopy tattoo on my butt I'll never know ..... but who am I to question the ways of The Universe. :) So we'll see if this idea of the tattoo keeps getting thrown at me or if this was just a quirky coincidence.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep watching LA Ink. That show rocks! :)

*I'm telling you, it's this bloody dvr. Because of it I now watch every freakin' show out there! Seriously, quiz me. I'll know the show you're talking about! It's crazy, y'all. Send help! :)