As always, thank you for another dose of the exquisite pleasure of
the inimitably inimical (software application name) experience.
Oh yes, by the way, if any of your programmers could be troubled to
get us a usable version, say with a feature/defect ratio higher than
1.0, of the ODBC functionality that we have paid you $thousands
for, within say, the next couple of centuries, that would be much
appreciated. We are standing by; if no answer to the ever-
imminent delivery bell, please rap a little louder on our sarcophagi.
Thank you and have a nice day,
(a classic internet story)
According to a recent radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem.
A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom mirror.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Each night, the maintenance man would clean off the mirrors, only to find a fresh set of lipstick prints to clean the next night.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls into the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
One moral of story: There are teachers and then there are TEACHERS.
).
In Search of a Missing Wiener
ROCK HILL, S.C. — The owner of South Carolina eatery is looking for his 10-foot weenie.
Authorities say a sign of a giant smiling hot dog was reported missing May 10 from the Ebenezer Grill. The smiling hot dog has welcomed customers for the past 18 months, after owner Loyd Ardrey purchased it to replace the aging dog that had adorned the roof for years.
When Ardrey arrived at work early in the morning on May 10, the 30-pound aluminum sign was gone.
Authorities suspect prank-playing high school students may be behind the wiener sign disappearance. A week after the sign's disappearance, a giant pig that sits front of Bucko's Restaurant on was dragged and taken to a local high school.
York County police said students at Rock Hill High School had been identified as the culprits in the pig theft case. Stealing the fiberglass pig could be considered grand larceny, which is a felony punishable with a sentence of up to 10 years. But police say the pig theft suspects who have not been publicly identified because they are minors will only have to pay for damages.
Meanwhile, Ardey is considering buying another sign for his restaurant. But he'd rather have his sign returned.
"I just want my weenie back," Ardrey said in reports.
I also am committed to my church and God. I belong to a Messianic church. That's where Jews and Christians worship together.
I read portions of my bible everyday
Yes, I attend church.
No, I'm not religious.
